The End of 2013

You have been a good year to me.

All the ups and downs I had to go through, every single one of those lessons taught me so much. Maybe even more than what I'm expecting to get from you.

Thank you.

January taught me to be happy and to appreciate the good times with my friends and my family. I remember saying "January was great. A good start to this new year".

February taught me how to appreciate the presence of my loved ones and most importantly, how to say goodbye. Goodbye has never been easy and we all know that. But most of the times, I guess we have to say goodbye so we can actually look forward to our next meet :)

March. I was taught to be more easygoing. We can't always be calculative. Being calculative kills literally every single relationship. I chose to let myself be happier and for my friends to be more joyful.

April told me that not everybody is given a chance to go for their dreams. I tried so hard looking for a job but none of fruitful. So now, I am trying to grasp my chance at everything. If I want something, I guess I'll have to make my move instead of waiting, and waiting and wait some more. 

May said to go out more, to explore and to widen my horizons. Oh, and definitely time management. I definitely tried more things than last year. Went out so much more often to chillax rather than just complaining about the work I had to do. I guess it was a better move.

June taught me to weigh the risks and benefits of everything I have to do. There are pros and cons in everything we do. There are some risks that we have to take, as long as we know that at the end of the day, we are happy with our decision :)

July wanted me to communicate better with others. Be patient, be more tolerant. Communication is the key to maintaining better relationships. And it really works, because I'm pretty close to my housemate now, compared to how we used to be :)

August gave me a job at a restaurant. I faced so many new challenges in this month. It was so tiring. Really really tiring and pretty stressful at the start. But I told myself, I needed the money. I also needed the experience. Not only that, I told myself, I cannot waste my time watching dramas any more. I should do something about it.

September showed me that life is fragile. Time flies and people change. The person that I last saw in March has become a person that I could not even recognised after half a year. It shook me hard when I realized that, when I go home one day, I will not see her at home any more. I was taught to be strong.

October came just as harsh as September. October said life shouldn't be easy. There are down-hills that I have to go through despite the consequences. I have to brace myself and pull my socks and get myself over hurdle after hurdle. And I still believe that everything happens for a reason.

November, november. November gave me the chance to be nice to myself. Enjoyed a meal out now and then, enjoyed a few day trips with my friends and most importantly, I was happy. Happy to be able to enjoy the good days after the bad.

December. The most important month. December taught me to love. To give more and take less. To do things out of love instead of responsibility. To be able to care for myself and at the same time care for those I care about. I find this lesson the most important one of the year. 

2013 has been a great year. Thank you. Thank you so much :) And now its time to close the book.

So.. 2014, I guess I am ready for you. I hope we'll get along really well. If not as well as 2013, then I hope its better! I'll see you in 45 minutes! :D

My thoughts in 40 hours.

Ok, maybe I had a 30-minute nap in between but generally I was up for 40 hours. I, myself, am impressed :P

I'll skip my family time and go straight to my night shift at Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah. Its my first shift this summer but it already feels pretty familiar. The place, the wards and the atmosphere. By observing the patients and their family members, it always tells me to be thankful for what I have. To be happy with the life I was born with. To feel lucky to be able to afford slightly better healthcare. And for most parts, I am still trying to overcome my fear of blood. I am trying really hard, trust me. 

KPS's Area Competition 2013.

This is my first time attending Area Competition, not as a competitor that is. I've been promising to go since 2010 but I've never went because I had SPM Moral paper (2010), I went to the States (2011) and I had to balik kampung (2012). So finally, after so many years, I went for it. 

You know, I felt just as tensed as if I was a participant. Believe it or not, we don't know what to expect. Whether or not our juniors will be able to cope under the stress. A junior once told me "Senior, did you know the amount of stress that we are under? So far, no teams from Kwang Hua failed to enter competition, I hope our team will not be the first to break this tradition". What they didn't know was that there were quite a number of teams from Kwang Hua that lost in the past. Teams that were forgotten just because they lost and didn't get to give it a second try.

We have always been saying about how KH has always been winning and it is not as exciting and as worrying as it used to be back when we were competing because at that time, we had so many good competitors to go against. Our seniors always told us "eh, you must be careful of Bukit Kuda, MGS, STAJ and Raja Lumu! They have the best seniors and you must be prepared to compete with schools that were taught by officers and ex-state com participants". At that time, our seniors were only Area and State competitors but they did their best to teach us everything they can.

And honestly, the best part of yesterday was the winning of Batu Unjur's Nursing Cadet team. Congratulations :) Yes, its saddening that our cadet team lost by a mere 0.43% but when I think about how I won the State Competition by 0.25%, I decided to believe that its just purely luck. I was really sad to find out about the minute difference in the final score but what done, is done. Think of it more positively, SI is not the only competitor we have now. And seriously, other schools should now brave up and join area competition. You were given a real-life proof that KH does not always take the gold, we, can lose too. 

I am not saying this because I've never lost. I'm saying this because I lost more than any of them. I was lucky enough to be hand-picked by my seniors to represent KH and we were lucky enough that at that time, joining competition was a huge thing in KPS that we were treated like their most prized possessions. But my team, we never failed to disappoint all those friends and officers who placed their hopes on us. That's the worst stress to cope with - disappointing people who trusted you. 

Positive stress is always needed. If not, we will eventually start to take things for granted. Winning is not a given, neither is it a choice. I can't say there isn't effort but I'll say, maybe we need a little more luck, or maybe, others had a better chance.

In the end, everything happens for a reason.

Don't question the reason but take it to go another milestone.

Best wishes to all Kwang Hua-rians :)