好了。

Done with Semester 1!

Done with ONE SEMESTER ALREADY!

Wow.

Many people started their holidays yesterday because they had their OSCE on Monday. I was one of those unlucky ones who had it today. On a flyday. But honestly, after that test, I really feel like I can fly. The burden! Totally off the shoulders! Now I just have to wait for the results.

Raspberry, Cocoa, Hazelnut, Salted Caramel, Violet & Blueberry and Lavender.

I said to myself I'd buy myself a treat after enduring the torture of week 12 and that I was diligent enough to wake up at 4am to study for the tests. But truth is,

I am a girl. 

I like sweet stuff. 

And I have unsatisfied cravings. 

End of the story.

My first try. I've never had macaroons before because to me, they are Not Worth The Money. But then, when a girl has cravings, she must have it! Lol. Ok, actually not, I can forego my cravings if I really want to but I've decided to let myself off the hook this time. Take it as a sweet ending to my oh-so-shitty semester :D

Holiday starts tomorrow... NOT!

Tomorrow's the first day of SwotVac, in our words, study break. One week later, the real games begin. My last chance to make this semester worthwhile! Must jiayou! :)

I know you miss my big big face! Lol. I'm pretty sure you're planning to slap me xD Had my hair neatly (well, it was neat when I first tied it) tied up for my OSCE because first impression is important! :P And honestly, I am beginning to wonder why the heck did I let my hair cover my eyes last time. Seriously so damn zor-teng when I am studying -__- Like Huey Khim said, last time the prefects wanted us to tie everything up but we never wanted to, rather the hair kena chop off by the "professional" discipline teacher pun tak mau pin. Once we've graduated, we will tie everything up without being told. Was being rebellious that fun? xD

I attended two lectures this week. TWO, you know. Normally I don't even attend a single one. Lol. But anyways, I am here to tell you about something stupid I did. I don't normally attend lectures, I listen to the lecture recordings at home. And normally, I will pause the recordings with my left hand so I can jot down whatever the lecturer said. So, the other day in the lecture theatre, my left hand was tapping away on the table trying to pause the "recording" and I was cursing under my breath wondering why the "recording" won't stop and then I realized that I'm actually listening to the lecture LIVE. Lol!! I felt so stupid for the next 5 minutes -___- An obvious give-away that I don't usually attend lectures. Mehhh..

Okie dokies. I should go and study nao.

Have a great last-day-of-May!

And may June is nice to everyone, especially students who are having their exams :D

One.

-cramming in the library-

One reason why I'm here despite all the work I have to do - my ears and nose are over-stimulated with the noise and smell of dinner cooking donwstairs that its almost impossible to focus. Lol. There is no door to my study area, so I can smell and hear every single thing - even if somebody curses under their breath. 

Just finished my first test of the week. Thank goodness I did the past year exam questions! Quite a few questions were taken from there! *happy face!* hopefully the results will be better than the last :D

One down, two more to go. I haven't even started revising for tomorrow's test because I was too busy preparing for today's test - they say open book tests are the hardest. And another excuse was that I don't like tomorrow's paper. Hehh. I have a book and a set of notes to study tonight. Hopefully I can get through it alive.

OSCE. The superior oral test. Almost all my friends had it already and mine's on Friday. They were like telling me all their mistakes and how nerve-wreaking it was to be in the 1-to-1 counselling suite with the examiner. Ohwodetianna. And a friend of mine who speaks such fluent English only got 29/40. Another 9% and the HD is gone. This is no joke :( And I have yet to read through the notes for all this. I mean, I know what to say for each scenario but then.. I guess I still need to read through it all to get a better picture? Will do it after tomorrow's test I suppose :X

So that's week 12. Busy as hell. (it actually rhymes -,-)

Once I get through this week, I am so gonna treat myself to something nice before the cycle continues.

Finals in 13 days!

2245.

This is how I feel for the past few tests that I had. After studying like a cow for days, I still get 3.2/5. Another C. Sometimes I really wonder why should I study that hard when the results will still be so bad.

Anyways, 2245 is the current time. Had a really long day attending tutorials and mock tests. Classes ended late, 5pm and I literally ran home to cook dinner because its my turn today. Did a few past year questions after dinner and  now I am too tired to focus on my studies and it is too early to go to sleep. So I figure I'd pop in.

* * *

Before I forget to count my blessings, here's one thing I'm grateful for.

I have a friend. Full of surprises. Being nice, too nice. Helpful and.... Crazy? xD Honestly I'm really grateful for having awesome people like you in my life. Really. I don't know what else to say besides "thank you" :)

* * *

Randomly told my housemates that I sleep for 8 hours everyday. They got the shock of their lives. Ting Yuen says that he has only 5-6 hours of sleep, max. Jiun Kai said his was 6 hours, or 7 hours max. Then I start feeling guilty. People studying like mad and I'm sleeping. Lol. 

Okays. Maybe I should really go and sleep now so I can wake up earlier to study! Must chiong ah! My future really depends on this!!

Why, Hello.

Saw this on Friday while I was walking home. Its beautiful isn't it? :) I guess most of the time, if you slow down and start observing what's around you, you'll find all these amazing things :)

* * *

An early Happy Birthday to Jiun Kai :)

I've known him since standard 1. Lol. We studied in the same class for 6 years, then Kwang Hua, then Taylor's and now, we're doing Pharmacy at Monash. Haha. I was never really close to him, we don't really talk much, especially after primary school. We just acknowledge each other's presence in school. But now, at least better lah. Haha. Can talk can laugh. He's the most studious one amongst the 3 of us in the house. Which is pretty good because it gives me indirect pressure. Lol. "HD student studying downstairs! What are you doing TZH?!" Seriously, I really do think like that some times xD A "thank you" to him for helping the both of us so much throughout the past year as housemates and it was nice to have a friend to talk about the old school days :)

Happy 20th Birthday :) Hope you enjoyed the simple dinner and the cake from Xinyi. Stay sweet with Sharon! Haha! :D

* * *

This was what we had. 

Expensive mamak. Lol. Maggi goreng was $11.50 and roti tisu was $9.50. No, I did put the decimal properly, it is NINE dollars and FIFTY cents. Ohmypocket. The most expensive mamak ever! But also the cleanest mamak ever. Lol. I asked Huey Khim to guess the price of the roti tisu, she said $2. In your dreams, Ah Khim!!! Hahaha!

Eating out is definitely awesome - good food! Paying is pretty awesome too - never failed to cry at the amount. Lol. I guess I should learn how to tell my tummy to say NO to eating out and eat healthier at home. 

Anyways, until next time :)

Week 10.

Counting down the days till my finals. Idk how many times I have to say this, but time flies! Faster than a rocket or maybe a shooting star!

Just finished my test and sitting comfortably in front of the computer, still wearing my 'go out' clothes. I'm used to changing out of my outing clothes once I reach home but no, not today. Its too cold to change! Yesterday, it was so cold that I didn't even want to get a bath. Of course I did had a bath in the end but still! I am seriously wondering how did I survive last winter. I know winter in the land down under is not as cold as what they have up above but we still have negatives, max is -5 degrees at night. And no, we don't have snow, we have hail if you want. Lol. Cold OR rain I can take, but not cold + rain + strong winds!

So, besides eating, another thing on my to-do list when I go back to Malaysia: Buy more winter clothes. I thought whatever I bought last year was sufficient. I was stupid. It will be enough if I bundle myself into a snowman like what I did last year. No, I don't want to look like that any more! I look like a teenager that is trying really hard to fit in. Wearing the same shabby clothes everyday. The horror. No more!

* * *

* * *

Having an important oral exam in two weeks. It is worth 40%. And I realized that it is really similar to St John's short case. Lol. I will be given a scenario and 3 minutes to digest it all, then I have 7 minutes to counsel/settle the case. I have to make sure the patient (who might be rude/impatient/angry/stubborn/persistent etc.) walk out of the pharmacy happily. I guess I should really start practising, especially my spoken English. Don't later har, I go and talk to der patient in Malaysian English ahhh. Then I reli chiak lat liao. Lol. 

* * *

Now, where is my mum?! Grr.. Told me to call her and yet she is not picking up the phone. Y U NO pick up? Sadness :( Fine, I shall study for tomorrow's presentation instead!

P/s. I realized a chunk was missing from my last post. Now added. Haha!

To Infinity and Beyond.

Taken in USA, December 2011. 

When we were all happily playing with the snow :) One of my favourite family photo.

Mama's Day is here again.

Its a day to express our gratitude to our dear mums for enduring all the hardships and being with us throughout the thick and thins of our lives.

This is a very sad, but true picture.

I know people who don't say "I Love You" to their parents. I don't understand why loh. You can say "I Love You" to your friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, but not to your parents? I say it to my parents everyday ever since... well.. for as long as I can remember. Every night, I must hug my parents before I sleep. Now that I am here, every time I call them, I will always end with "I Love You" too. I am not embarrassed to admit it. Because I don't want to regret not saying it.

Especially my mum. Every time when she tells me that she misses me, it makes me so sad. She is the reason why I will go on no matter what. I need a job and she needs to retire. Sometimes, when I don't feel like studying after a long day, I will call her, tell her how lazy I am and somehow, I don't know how, she will be able to crack some jokes and then I'll be all energized and ready to study again. My mum is awesome like that!

She has been a really great mum. My mum will always be the best mum ever! Thank you for always being there for me. To side me and to always clear things up for me when I'm fighting with dad. I'm really blessed to have a mum like you :')

1998? 1999? I forgot. Lol.

2013, in Melbourne.

Thank you for taking such good care of the both of us. Although we may not be superb in our studies and we are not extra-awesome girls, but we're good :) Good enough to know that we'll never forget what you've done for us and we'll always be grateful to such a wonderful mother. We love you, mum. We love you a real lot :) Now that my exams are near, I remember the times when you'd accompany me by my desk and read a book all the way till 2am while I was studying for my exams. I miss that. I really do :') 

We may be young adults now, but we'll always be your two little girls.

Happy Mothers' Day.

I love you.

And I can't wait to go home :')

Busy Saturday.

Had a really really buzzy day today. I'm really impressed at myself for being able to actually fit all this into one single day. *proud!* Hahaha!

Woke up at 7.30am and studied for a while before heading out to do our weekly grocery shopping in the city. Spent about 1.5 hours grocery shopping and went back home to sort the stuff. After sorting, I had to rush out and meet Trang for our first house inspection (oh gawd, that place SUCKS! Old and dirty and CREEPY!). Right after the house inspection, I had to show Trang the way to my house since she wants to visit, so I had to go home another time only to rush out AGAIN to meet up with my tutorial mates for brunch in the city - walking distance from where I did my grocery shopping earlier this morning.

From left - Nasyikah, Shanice, Yen Jun and me!

Awesome people, awesome food! @Fraus, West Melbourne. The price was considerably okay because we all shared :)

NEXT.

Right after our brunch date, I had to rush back to my house and meet up with Trang again to go for our second inspection - this house is so much nicer than the first one but its too far from the nearest tram stop. It's too dangerous to walk home at night :/ So... Nope, it just won't work. *sighs*

Second inspection done. Went back home. Before I could even browse through Twitter and Instagram, Jiunkai said "ZHIHAN!! We have to go join the 511 demonstration at Fedsquare!" Okay, then we rushed out once again, where? To the city, again.

4.30pm at Federation Square. All the Malaysians wearing black. But to be honest, I want to know, how many of them actually came here because they want to protest? How many of them came here because they want their face to appear in Facebook? 

To be honest, I don't have much to comment about who won and who lost. I am not that politically inclined. At first, I didn't understand why everyone is so worked up about them losing. Another confession, I was annoyed when I saw all the black profile pictures and all the election fraud info on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram or wherever. I mean, what the hell can you change by doing all these? You change NOTHING. What I thought was, so what if they had another election? The same party will still win! They have ways to win once, they can win twice. No problem. But that was before I got to know what happened. I knew about the influx of Banglas into Malaysia for the election but I didn't know about what happened that actual day. That's what changed my perception. What I don't agree on is the method they used to win the election. They should be thinking of ways to win the people's heart, not trying to channel money into their own pockets. No, this I cannot agree. I did not manage to join the 508 demonstration because I only knew about it when it started. I got to know about this one yesterday. Last minute plans. 

Going back to the picture on top, when I took it, I saw only FOUR people who are really worth the praise. Out of all these people, only FOUR of them sat there in silence while holding their propaganda. These FOUR did not talk, did not take pictures, did not play with their phone THROUGHOUT the TWO hours. And the FOUR of them, I can see "I WANT TO KILL HIM" in their eyes. Lol. Seriously, they look as if they were gonna kill you-know-who. I am really impressed by how the four guys took this so seriously. *salutes!* Some others, were just there for the photos. So many girls sat there, camwhoring like mad. STUPID. And when photographers came, they posed like models. HA-HA. When Jiunkai, Xinyi, Tingyuen and I sat down. We did not play with our phones, we did not take a single picture, I can't say that we didn't talk but we had minimal discussion. I don't find the need to come here if you are just planning to play a fool with it. But that's my opinion of course. If you feel offended, sorry. If you feel that I am talking about you? Too bad, I am not directing this at anybody. But if you still think that I am, well, then it means that you must have done something wrong, isn't it?

Lastly, after the demonstration, we went for some Korean food. Again, awesome people accompanied by awesome food. Overeating twice in a day. So much for slimming down, so doomed. Mehh. Nice catch-up session. Funny how we were all from different classes, different co-curricular units, different group of friends in Kwang Hua and still are able to talk about our teachers, friends and the good-old days in Kwang Hua :)

And.. I finally got home at 9pm. Mentally and physically exhausted. But I guess it was a day well-spent? Haha! To make it even more well-spent, I must finish at least one lecture recording before I go to bed. Need to start working on my studies again. Another test is coming up in 4 days and presentation in 5. Week 10 nao.

Exactly a month till my final exams!

A month and 9 days till the start of my winter break! :D

Those days.

Those few days in a month when I feel like dying the most. Imbalanced hormones making me laugh this minute, angry the next. And all in all, my personality is weirder than usual (as if my usual self wasn't weird enough).

Now, I feel so frustrated with myself. For being so stupid. For not being able to sit down and study for tomorrow's test. And then, the feeling of wanting to give up comes back to me. Telling me that this isn't what I want and that I should not suffer like this. I feel like an emotional wreck. Decided not to talk to anyone and be antisocial for today. Nobody deserves a bad treatment from me just because I feel like shit. I guess that's why I am here, to at least say something before I lose it. And I doubt anybody will read wordy blog posts.

I don't understand all this crap. I don't understand what is a nucleophilic attack. I don't understand why there are about 10 different graphs for one stupid equation. I don't understand why this molecule is more polar than the rest. I don't understand why I've already followed all the calculation steps and still got a wrong answer. I don't understand why I don't understand simple things like this! I really don't get it. I tried really hard to make it work but it is not. No matter how many times I read it, I still don't get it. And then I wonder if I am really that stupid. I doubt being stupid has anything to do with hormonal fluctuations and I am pretty sure that if this was any other normal day, I would still not understand what I'm studying at the moment. Just that maybe I won't be so mad at myself if its not a day when I am not being hit with cramps. But thank goodness all these last for only a day and not the entire week.

What cures frustration better than food? Stuffed myself with Rondoletti biscuits all night. I finished a whole tin of it. There goes my lead-a-healthier-life motto. I guess looking at photos is better than actually eating something. 

Stuff that I've eaten since 1st of March. I don't know why, but ever since I collaged them all last night, whenever I look at this particular photo it makes me feel better somehow. My roommate says that I've been eating too healthy at home, that's why I get all happy when I eat out. I guess she might be right. I can't find a single thing that is healthy in the picture except the green stuff. But of course, next to those green stuff is a huge serving of oils and fats. 

I've been up since 6.30am. Besides studying half-heartedly, I did nothing productive and accumulating hatred for my own sense of responsibility towards my studies. Its 3.30pm now. *sighs* I guess I should give studying another try. Stupid test tomorrow. Fingers crossed hoping that I can actually answer half of it all.

Macam Yes.

Oh, sorry, I wasn't talking about the elections. No comments on that one :)
The only thing I have to say is that I hope that everyone at home is safe. I want nothing more than my family and friends to be safe. Please, be careful. I have no say for anything else.

Instead, for me, 5/5 was the most productive day of the year so far. I have been sitting at my desk since 7am, listening to lecture recordings and retyping my notes for one of my units, all the way till 11pm. Idk how I did it as well. Have been catching up on my lecture recordings since yesterday. I had about 16 * 1 hour-long lecture recordings (3 weeks worth of work) yesterday morning, now I have only 3 left. I know I should have done that a long time ago but still, I feel so proud to have almost finished everything! :D And, I retyped all my notes for one whole unit. Now my back's sore and my shoulder's stiff but I definitely feel good :D

Week 9 now.

Week 10.

Week 11.

Week 12.

SwotVac.

EXAM TIME!

This is really stressful. Sigh. So much to learn. I hope my whole week would be as productive as how it was today! Then maybe, just maybe, I have hopes of raising my CGPA :D

* * *

Lunch date with Yenjun yesterday @ Grill'd.

Love talking to her, she is so cute! Haha! Thank you Yenjun, for teaching me those Spectroscopy lectures! :D

I have no idea why, I'm really obsessed with burgers nowadays. And guess what? 2 years ago, I swore I'd never ever eat burgers because I don't understand why people like eating something that makes such a huge mess! Lol. And I suppose another reason for being crazy over them now is because I'm in Australia and every brunch meal is burgerized, or maybe bagelized. Sad how I've never been to all the famous shops in Malaysia. Haha. 

So, I ran off tangent. Sorry, I'm really hungry and its 11.20pm and I feel like eating so bad! D: I blame the weather! The temperature is dropping day by day. Tell me, who doesn't eat when its cold? I had breakfast.... THREE times from 7am and had lunch at 12.30pm. One bowl of porridge at 7am, two pieces of toast and a coffee at 9am and then, 1 banana and 1 apple at 10am before realizing that I should really stop eating before I get indigestion. Hehh. ITS COLD LAH! Wearing my thickest jacket already, still cold, so I started eating. That's why you can see my double-chin already! So there!

This week is gonna be a very busy one. Because I had too many days off in the last few weeks, so now, when my housemates are having their days off, I have so many practical classes I can barely breathe. All packed into two weeks. Hang in there! I am a month and 15 days away from my 5 weeks winter break! :D

Okays. I should go to sleep now. Mentally exhausted and I have to wake up extra early to cook my lunch and to get a bicycle parking at uni. Lol. Life's like that eh? :) And I bet my laptop is exhausted from working 16 hours today. Haha! Good night :)

Go.

Closed a chapter and started the next.

Saw this yesterday and can't help but posting it. It fits really really well to my current life.

If working hard is not enough, work harder.

The happy little things in life that makes the day better.

Z for Zhihan and F for Florina.

(when I posted this on twitter, people were like "its a freaking E! Not an F!", to be honest, just shut up if you don't know how to appreciate it)

Although we don't get along too well with each other, I still appreciate the days where we do all these little things together :) 能一起开开心心地打扫房间，一起做饭， 其实也是一种幸福. We're only gonna be roommates for another two more months. Idk what I should feel. Haha. But I think, maybe I will miss her :)