Here and There.

Was looking around the "Keep Calm" photos and came across this. And to think about it.. I haven't been eating properly since the start of SwotVac. I take 2 meals a day instead of 3. Still, I am taking my fruits and vegs. Haha! Shall treat myself to better food when I go back :D

I remembered saying Hello October only a while ago and now its November already. I'm amazed. 7 months and 2 weeks passed just like that. My days left in Melbourne are numbered. Exactly 20 more days. Can anything be more exciting than this? Haha! I seriously can't wait to go home :)

I wonder how's everyone there. I wonder if my little cousin brother can still recognise me after so many months. I wonder if anything has changed in my aunt's house. I wonder if my parents' TV routine is still the same. I wonder if I can still drive?! I miss driving a serious lot. Because it is when I am behind the wheels that I feel free :)

Sister's having her SPM in 5 days. My next paper is in 6 days. She seems pretty worried about her SPM and I couldnt be of much help since I am not home. I wonder how's she's really coping since she only ever says "Die liao lah" when I ask her about it -____-

Oh well, I should properly start studying for my next paper too eh? Before I become the one who has to say "die liao lah". I am diligently trying to find my interest in Chemistry. I think I lost it on my way here.

Cross-roads.

I've reached this cross-road for the second time in this semester. I've never felt so tensed up and disappointed with myself for quite some time.

Nope, I don't regret not studying earlier.

Nope, I don't wish for more time because I know if I've been given the time I would have just repeated the same thing.

I chose this route. No one pointed a gun at me and commanded me to pick this. I shall be responsible for my choice. I just hope that I am determined enough.

A friend asked me, "are you sure you want to study that much, after 4 years as an undergrad, 1 year as an intern and then, spend the rest of your life standing behind a counter and read prescriptions everyday?" Those words gave me a good slap in the face because my answer is NO. No, I don't want to stand behind a counter for the rest of my life. No, I don't want to read prescriptions everyday. THAT, is definitely not how I'd picture my life.

But, I want to be able to read the ingredients from a box of medicines and actually know what they mean. I want to be able to compare medicines by brand and be able to choose the best one instead of going for the most expensive one (isn't there a mindset saying that most expensive stuff would always be the better choice? It doesn't always turn out that way does it?). I want to be able to care for my family, I can't diagnose internal wounds but I can be of help when it comes to deciding with treatment would be the best for them. I want to be able to help myself when it's my turn to be in trouble. At least, I would be able to understand what is wrong.

To be able to do all that, I must first go through all the shitz. No better word that shitz. I do blame myself for not being supportive of my own choice. But at critical times like this, I shall just suck it up. No point dwelling on matters like this now, I suppose. My first paper is just 33 hours away. Hurrah for me! NOT.

And to add stress to my loaded-with-stress-self, I think I have an extra "senget" tooth growing, can't close my mouth properly, can't eat properly. Should I start stocking up fruits and veges that can be blended? So I can drink my meals instead of having to suffer when chewing. Grrr! What a nice timing. If it's a wisdom tooth, please give me enough wisdom to get through this exam, thankyouberrymuch!

In the mist of being so stress, feel like giving up and the like, I am very grateful for having such awesome friends. Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook and even sms. Thank you guys so much for everything :) I seriously can't wait to go home and meet up with everyone :)

RT @MindblowingFact : People who stay awake till late night are more intelligent than the people who go to bed early, and rise early for the day!

Oh really? My clock is telling me I should sleep now. One of my housemates should be asleep for 2 hours already. Lol. But gets up so early, that when my other housemate decides to go sleep, the other one is up already -_____- I'm the middle one.

I guess I should get my hands on the past year questions and start studying like mad. I have 33 hours. After that paper, I think I'd feel so relaxed as if I've finished the whole semester. The first paper is my worst subject, hence, the stress because I can't get it right. Ah well.. *pulls up hoodie* Let's get started!

Skype.

Decided to share my housemate's internet this month because I don't want to waste my time travelling to and fro Monash. And YESH, I can haz awesome internet quota! Finally, you can see me ONLINE on Skype instead of being Invisible like how I usually am for the past 8 months xD

Skyped with my family more often nowadays since I don't have to check the internet usage every 5 minutes just in case I've exceeded it. Lol.

My 全家福 ♥

Despite it being so blur, I still love it a lot! :) A few of my friends mentioned that I look like my mum. Haha! Oh well, now you know how will I look like when I am 50y/o :)

Second round of skype for the day. My crazy crazy sister. We love hoodies!! :D

It's great talking to them. I miss them so much! I want to go home!! There's so many things I want to do when I am home. Can't wait! :)

3 more days till the start of my exams.

*fingers crossed!*

Getaway.

Semester 2 is over. Not officially over but still, no more lectures, pracs, tests and tutorials.

As of today, SwotVac begins. 

Ok, I still don't know what SwotVac stands for but it is the one week break before the finals for students to study in their most hardcore mode.

My last day of the semester ended with an online practical test. Before all the studying + stress kicks in, I've decided to chill for a bit. Haha! Thank you Amanda for going to all these places with me today! Besides thank you, I don't know what else to say, I really appreciate the company :))

Freddo ice cream for tea time, Nasi Lemak for dinner :D Its my first nasi lemak since I came over to Aussieland. It is definitely something I miss and want to eat-all-I-can when I go home!

Bought the new Apple Earpods to replace my 4-year-old earphones that decided to break down on me a few days ago. Went to Melbourne Uni's Co-op Bookstore, and guess what, everything in the middle picture is FREE. 7 bars of chocolate, 2 huge files, 2 colour ENO pencil leads and a pen. Lol. Files are things that are so NOT worth buying here. Expensive like crazy. Too bad I only have two hands, if not I'd take 5-6 files instead of the chocolates :/

Alrighto, enough of the active bloggingness. I think I should seriously enter hardcore-study mode. To Sharon and CinYi, thanks for all the help throughout this semester. Happy Studying during SwotVac and All The Best for the upcoming finals!

I should really put in more effort this time :/

Counting down 10 more days till my Drug Delivery paper.

Bring it on.

I was so glad to have finished my Drug Delivery test today. To be honest, I thought I did quite well because I've studied pretty hard for it. Was about to reward myself with some chillax time and I realized that I made a huge mistake. Now my test result is at stake D: but what's done is done, I shall hope for the best.

Having my last test of the year tomorrow - an online prac test. Thank goodness its an open book test or else I don't know what would have become of me. Yikes! Also, tomorrow is the last day of the semester. I didnt realize that until a friend mentioned it. I guess I've been skipping classes too often. Haha! Oh well, video recordings are way better than the actual class simply because I can pause and pen down what the lecturer said. They talk like bullet trains in class I can't even pen down anything I always seem so lost -_- Lecture recordings for the win! The person who invented Echo360 is a genius! You have my thanks, mate! :目

Talked to my mum yesterday. I told her I don't feel motivated to study, she told me to get a rest, go for a jog and then sit down and start studying. I asked, "What if I still don't feel like studying?" She said "THEN YOU PACK YOUR BAGS AND COME HOME!" Lol. What she meant was no point spending so much money on me when I am not studying and I said "OK, I won't even go for a jog, I shall START PACKING NOW!" She panicked and say "don't you even dare to come home now!" Hahaha! I have the cutest mum ever! Love her so so much! ♥

11 days until my first paper!

31 days till the day I go home :)

Definitely looking forward to it! There's so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go! I want to make my summer break the best one ever! :D

Lost.

As time passes, things change, people change.

I know the day for me to change out of that would come but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Now, I can finally say - I don't give a shit. And when I think about what I did all those years, sacrificing this and that, I wouldn't say it was worth it, I wouldn't say it's not, I'd say it made me grow :)

That lost interest.

Back then, I couldn't stand being nobody. I couldn't stand being mistreated. I stood up for this, I stood up for that. I've put in so much effort for so many things but obviously I didn't achieve much and was worried about all those stupid achievements. Today, I can say that those stuff don't bother me any more. I can finally say "I don't care".

People put in effort for a reason. I used to have a motive. Well, I still have one now but I must say, the current one is totally different from the one I used to have. This one is more practical. This one can actually guarantee my future (if I work hard enough for my Pharmacy degree that is). 

I have nothing for you. I wasn't good enough. Because I never led a winning team and because we were problematic. You have that written all over your face when I lost everything, all of your expectation. I've given it all. I do not need you to recognize me. I do not need you to give me anything in return. I just want to blend in. You can pretend I've never existed, it matters no more. You can say I'm an idiot and laugh at me, I care no more. Just let me be there, just let me blend in with all the other people and let me stay there until I'm done. Everything else - I don't give a shit.

Just a few years. All I need is just a few pieces of paper :)

I see it.

Dreams, they can only be achieved if you wake up and start chasing them.

My current life evolves around studying, lab sessions, grocery shopping, cooking, housework, evening jogs, watch RunningMan, sleep. And to be honest, I'm sort of used to it. It's kind of the peaceful life where everything is normal and predictable :) Somehow, I like it this way. No stress! :)

I see the end of the semester. This week is the last week of the semester. The horrifying week 12 - tests, tests and more tests. After that would be the two weeks of exams and then.. Summer holidays babeh! xD

I know I've been mentioning this in almost every blog post but I seriously can't wait! Can't wait for everything to be over and to spend 3 months back in Malaysia. The excitement is overwhelming! I WANT TO GO HOME! :D

5 more weeks and I'm home. This is the second time that I am not even bothered about the exam. I just want it to end. I'm wondering if it's a good thing. I just want to do better than last semester. I just want to raise my CGPA. My last semester results sucks and I have no one to blame except myself. Fyi, my GPA for last semester didn't even reach 3.0. I was THAT bad. But no, not this semester. I am much more determined and I've worked harder. I want to improve! No more suckish results or I'll be too ashamed to face my parents!

15 more days till my first paper.

36 more days and I'll be home :)

Not really.

Week 10 - Done and over with.

Hello Week 11! It's the second last week of the semester.

3 important tests in Week 12 and then the war with my books start on the 30th!

But somehow I still find it hard to concentrate on my studies. I can't study most of the time. That feeling's such a pain! I am easily distracted by noise and by my phone. Switching off my phone is not a problem, the noise is. Sometimes people talk so loud that I can't even hear my lecture recording properly. Sometimes I wish to glare at them or ask them to respect the other people who are studying in the "QUIET STUDY AREA" but then again, I don't own the place. *sigh* 

We had 10 (or more) subjects in SPM and it wasn't as stressful. Now I only have 4 and it already feels like a living hell to get all those information into my brain. Major crisis of the year!

And after 1.5 semesters in Pharmacy, my interest in Chemistry declined about.... 80%? Physics, I am so sorry I hated you last time. I won't do it again. Miraculously, I can do well in every little topic that is related to Physics and Physiology ain't that hard either. But Chemistry? It just won't do, nothing goes in let alone producing something during the exam. 

I saw a picture on Facebook saying "Be blessed for being stressed". I agree with that statement in a way that having something to stress about is way better than a monotonous/dull life. I hope I can pass the final exam. I don't want to repeat any unit next year!