Lost.

As time passes, things change, people change.

I know the day for me to change out of that would come but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Now, I can finally say - I don't give a shit. And when I think about what I did all those years, sacrificing this and that, I wouldn't say it was worth it, I wouldn't say it's not, I'd say it made me grow :)

That lost interest.

Back then, I couldn't stand being nobody. I couldn't stand being mistreated. I stood up for this, I stood up for that. I've put in so much effort for so many things but obviously I didn't achieve much and was worried about all those stupid achievements. Today, I can say that those stuff don't bother me any more. I can finally say "I don't care".

People put in effort for a reason. I used to have a motive. Well, I still have one now but I must say, the current one is totally different from the one I used to have. This one is more practical. This one can actually guarantee my future (if I work hard enough for my Pharmacy degree that is). 

I have nothing for you. I wasn't good enough. Because I never led a winning team and because we were problematic. You have that written all over your face when I lost everything, all of your expectation. I've given it all. I do not need you to recognize me. I do not need you to give me anything in return. I just want to blend in. You can pretend I've never existed, it matters no more. You can say I'm an idiot and laugh at me, I care no more. Just let me be there, just let me blend in with all the other people and let me stay there until I'm done. Everything else - I don't give a shit.

Just a few years. All I need is just a few pieces of paper :)