End-break crisis.

My holidays end in.... three days. Five weeks ended, just like that. I did nothing really. Besides spending money, and more money. Wasting time, and more time. Tried job hunting, although not as aggressive as how I was last year but definitely more determined. Waiting for good news now I suppose..?

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一波未平，一波又起

爱莫能助

Help is needed. Too far away to be of any help to others. That shitty feeling to not be able to share the burden. The messages beeping like mad looking for someone who is free to run the errands. Either they're busy working or there're too far away to do anything, like me. I'm ever so free here and yet I couldn't contribute. How I wish I could be home now. 

Spend more time with your family always. Pay more attention to their needs. Don't be fooled by that one smile or that one "ok". Just press on and get the actual "No, I don't feel ok and I need help" reply.

Really. Cherish every moment.

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Let me show you the kiddy side of me.

Here, I collect the minions too. Come and judge me.

I don't want them all, I just want some that are cuter and more special. Like the one in the photo above. Unlike Malaysia where you have to queue HOURS AND HOURS to get the minion, nobody cares about them here. Just go to McD, there will never be more than 3 people lining in front of me and even so, none of them wanted the toy. And at most of the McDonalds here, you don't need to buy a happy meal to get a toy. They sell it individually. So I am not feeding myself fast-food and I still get what I want. 

When I saw so many people scolding and criticizing those people who collect the minions, I was somewhat well... 对号入座 and felt kind of offended and didn't want to get them anymore. But then I realized, that wouldn't be me, right? I shouldn't change myself just because of what others say, unless its change for the betterment :)

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It looks pretty disgusting, isn't it? All the green? It tastes really good though.

I am trying VERY HARD to eat clean. I've always wanted to change my lifestyle to a healthier one but its just very hard with all the negative thoughts and all the good food in front of me. And then, I saw all these people, most friends and people I know, setting a change in their lives and I feel more motivated to make a start. Pushing myself to exercise is easy, what's hard to control is my food cravings. It'll be very very slow, but I'm sure I will be able to do it eventually :)

Last year I used to buy biscuits, cheese spreads, nutella and all the sugary stuff. You can't eat what you didn't buy. So now, I stopped buying all of that. It is hard to not have anything to munch on. I'm always, always craving for something. I will still let myself off the hook sometimes to enjoy a little treat. Like the cake above - Mars Bars Cheesecake. Ok, maybe this treat is too much. Haha! I will balance it off somehow :)

One day, I'll be able to do it :)

Just wait!