I don't care.

Sometimes it is better not to know what's on other people's mind. Because once you know, you can never stop thinking about it.

Easier said that done. I can say I don't care but I keep having thoughts about it. 

"Oh no, I feel bad" 

"Oh no, what are they gonna do" 

"Oh no, I am doomed"

...

Until one day, I gave up.

I seriously can't be bothered by their complains. I wasn't brought up by my parents to serve you. You can complain all you want but I am who I am. Sometimes I seriously feel like shouting at them. You have no right to treat me that way because my world does not evolve around you. You are just a small piece of land on my planet. Why I give last minute notices? Well, frankly, if you have been listening to what I've said all this while, then you would have known that I mentioned it to you at least 2 months ago. And, just so you know, I KNEW their reaction would be like that and that's why I chose to tell you AFTER my exams instead of before or during the exam week.

I came back to help because I respect the family. I didnt come back because I miss the kids. I am very happy with my new life in the house. Laughing day and night. Enjoying the me-time. I'm spending three days and two nights back here. I won't say I wasted my time because I know I am being useful by be able to help the family. But I just don't like how I am being treated like a scumbag by the cousins. I wish they'd be more polite. They want me to be around but they don't freaking respect me or listen to me. She said "who are you to order us around? You are not our mother, we can do anything we want, this is OUR house, not yours!" It was so hard to hold back what I wanted to yell in her face. I nearly - I mean I opened my mouth but shut it straight away - threw swear words in her face. I mean, Hello?! I am 10 years older than you, can you at least respect my presence? Since you don't appreciate it, why are you asking me to come back? WHY?!

Why do I still have to face these kind of situations, I really don't get it. I was taught to never ever ruin any relationship be it to a friend or a family member because things happen, one day you might regret all these silly arguments. I hope I've served my purpose here these three days and that I can go home tomorrow. I really dont feel like staying here till Sunday. *sigh!*

Life like this.

So this is how it feels like to have my own freedom. No curfews, no restrictions and loads of freedom to do anything I want.

Don't have to rush for the train, don't have to wake up early, don't have to tip toe down the hallway to get to the bathroom at night. I am loving my new-found  freedom :D

But moving out really cost a lot of money. Pots and pans, electrical items and such. Not to mention the food and utility bills. I'll say its the price for my freedom. Everything has its price.

Haven't been doing much lately, besides getting more and more stuff for the house and spending my monthly budget like nobody's business. Decided to go back to my exercising life. Have not been running (unless you count sprinting to the right platform at the train station as running then well, have been running a little) for some time now. Gained a few kilos actually. Haha! Should start running again :)) 

Wonder what's in store for me tomorrow :)

Oh Yeshhh!

Have been looking forward to this day for a long long time! :D I moved out today! It feels awesome! 

Have been working on the house since Tuesday. Florina and I have been cleaning, mopping, BUYING *spent loads of money on this house* and we are still working on the house right now. Moving in/out is so much work! I have so much stuff its so hard to pack them all and get them over. My goodness. But at least I think I am going to like it here :)) Will post pictures of the house/room when it is done! :D

Goodbye June!

Hello July, please be nice to me!

I am gonna get my semester 1 results on the 9th! My fingers are tightly crossed!

I've been thinking..

I look at myself and I realize how lucky I am to be here. How lucky I am to be able to study overseas and to be able to be learn in a totally different environment. I am thankful for that.

I have been looking for a part time job lately and I realized how hard it is to actually get a job. It is really, really hard to accept the fact that I applied to so many jobs and the replies were "I am sorry but this position has been filled". The replies came back one by one and it depresses me.

I applied to so many different kinds of jobs, as a retail assistant, as a barrista, as a pharmacist assistant etc. and the replies weren't good. *sigh* When I think of how hard my parents worked to get me all the way here, I feel guilty. Guilty for spending so much of their money. That's why I want to get a job, at least I can support my living expenses instead of depending 100% on my dear parents.

What other jobs can I apply for? I have 4 weeks left of my holidays. What can I do..?

明白赚钱难， 却没想过找份工作更难。。

* * * 

"Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind"

Drew this a couple of days ago, out of boredom that is. The one on the left is the original one obviously :P

My cousins from the USA are in Malaysia right now and I can't be there :( I miss them so much! Can't help remembering the days in California, laughing and playing like kindergarten-ers. I hope they enjoyed their trip to Asia :) 

They are having fun in Melaka :)

Hope to you girls soon! 

* * *

Saw this in Facebook recently and I find it pretty meaningful.

Even though I grew up watching this movie, I never noticed this sentence before. Hmm.. Maybe I wasn't paying attention. Haha!

Everybody is different in their own way, my cousin always complain to me about why can't she buy new clothes, why can't she go overseas for a holiday, why can't she do this, why can't she do that, I got so fed up I nearly yelled at her. When I told different people lead different lives, she pulled a face and raised her voice saying "You don't get the point!!!" I nearly retorted "who's the one who can't fucking understand?!" But I just smiled and gave her a hug, Deep inside I understand that she leads a life I never thought I'd be in. I am grateful that I've been brought up with more freedom that I could have imagined. I've always complained about how strict my parents were and how I don't want to go home, I regretted all that. Because compared to my cousins, I lead a good life. In fact, I lead a very happy life :)

I must always remember this feeling.

Although I am not as rich, not as smart, not as pretty, not as kind or friendly as some others, I hope I will always remember, I am still one lucky girl :)

* * *

I spent a few days of my holidays watching this drama. I know, I know, it has been out for like AGES! But I never knew where to watch all these dramas until recently. Hehh.. At first, I thought it was some crappy drama because personally, I HATE drama/movie that involves exchanging bodies between the characters. Luckily I didn't stop watching though xD Because it turned out to be really good!

Some scenes were really pathetic, some really funny, some very meaningful :)

Synopsis:

The drama tells the story of Kim Joo Won (Hyun Bin), an arrogant and eccentric CEO who maintains the image of seeming perfection, and Gil Ra Im (Ha Ji Won), a poor and humble stuntwoman whose beauty and body are the object of envy amongst top actresses. Their accidental meeting, when Joo Won mistakes Ra Im for actress Park Chae Rin, marks the beginning of a tense, bickering relationship, through which Joo Won tries to hide a growing attraction to Ra Im that both confuses and disturbs him. To complicate matters further, a strange sequence of events results in them swapping bodies.

Not bad, at least it is not a typical swap bodies and learn to live the other's life and such. They actually swapped bodies three times. The last one being the most meaningful one :) and.. at least I didnt waste my three days watching it! :P What should I watch next? Hmm...

* * *

I took out my luggage yesterday. Should start packing already. I am moving out next week! :D I am really excited, I can't believe it! Time flies! This should be my last Sunday here. Oh yeshhh! xD

Wonder how life would be in the new house :) I can't wait! Only one thing, I don't know how to move my "ka-chang" to the house -,- need to ask for help :/

* * *

Until next time :))

For a change.

I think I have been using the same Blogger template for at least 2 years. I think it's time for a change?

Been spending my whole morning trying to figure out all the CSS stuff. It's like a big chunk of an alien language that I really have no idea where to start. So I've decided to start with one of their templates and modify it further. But the thing is, the template that I've chosen, the html cannot be edited! I need more knowledge on this. But since I have not gotten a job yet I suppose I still have time to figure all these out. Just that it takes up a lot of my data :/

If you see my blog is in GREY, please refresh. Because it's supposed to be in RED!

No idea why I can't even get that right :(

Shall try to get it right. Need more time :/

Post-exams

Have been searching for a job on the internet. Writing cover letters and resumes since Thursday. Finally I've finished 2 cover letters and my resume. So.. Hopefully I can get a job before July! *fingers crossed!* :)

I would say that today's a productive day since I did my part of the chores, finished my cover letters and also.. I drew this! xD

I know, I know, it's pretty childish. But it's easier than drawing real people! :P And the last time I drew a picture was in Form 3. After Pendidikan Seni vanished from the compulsory subjects, I stopped drawing people and all.

I think Flynn doesn't really look like Flynn but Rapunzel looks ok? Heh heh!

Now.. What should I do tomorrow? Hmm...

Starts.. Now!

Finally, after battling my Semester 1 finals for so long, I am FREE! For only 5 weeks that is. But who cares, it's the winter holidays people! :D

So so excited! :D I have so many things in mind! Going shopping tomorrow! I have not been shopping for 4 months! I NEED TO SHOP! xD

And! I need to start my job search. Must must must get a job very very soon! Hopefully everything works out fine! :D

Two more weeks! :D

Smileeee!

Isn't he the cutest?

Seriously, I can smile and smile after looking at the photos of him that my sister sent me. Cuteness overload! I miss him so much!! By the time I go back to Malaysia, he'd be running around and screaming like how little boys would be and ain't gonna be that cute anymore!! *sobs!*

* * *

Don't want to comment on my exams because I don't know how to face my results.

I can only say that I can't have high expectations as I did not put in a lot of effort. I just hope I pass every unit and that I can enter semester 2!

One more paper and I am done with le semester! :D

It's always so hard to score in Physiology because only the exact terms are accepted. But somehow I hope I can at least do better in Physiology than my other units as I spent a lot of time on this unit.

2 more days!! :))

Love like this.

Was so stressed up for my Physicochemical Basis of Pharmacy paper. Its my worst unit and I dont understand loads of the stuff. I slept really late yesterday just to study for it. And well, one siao po was still awake and decided to spam my phone! About 100+ whatsapp messages! And I didnt read them until I finished my exam. Whoops. Sorry! :P

Thanks for trying to make me laugh yea! :D

But you embarrassed me as well! I was smiling/laughing like a mentally retarded person at the platform. :P

I still remember this "song", re-composed by Eng Seng and Shao Qian! Haha! For our 2010's State Competition. All the good memories :)) Oh ya, congratulations to Thuan Song and team for their awesome achievement is today's National Com! :D

Anyway, Tan Ah Khim, I will always cherish our friendship :)) That's why, I SHALL SPAM YOU BACK TONIGHT!!!! :DD

* * *

Rest for 4 days and its Organic Chemistry! Then Physiology and I am officially done with le first semester! :)) 5 weeks of holiday! I just can't wait! :D

Your pick.

What's your pick? :)

I have dreams, be it in my dreams or in my life.

But.. I have to say, I chose to go back to sleep most of the time. #fail

Time to wake up and go after your dreams :)

My countdowns:

4 more days.

and also,

24 more days.