Last of the First.

31.1.13

The last day of the first month of 2013.

Can you believe it? A month came and went just like that. I personally felt like only a week had passed. Hehh. Sorry, I couldn't help repeating N times that time's passing too fast. Somehow I just don't feel like going back to Aussieland so soon.

January 2013.

I must say, it has been a really great month considering all the consequences and stuff. I had a really great time and it was a great start for this awesome year. After all, January IS my favourite month of the year. Haha! I hope the remaining 11 months of 2013 will treat me just as well :D

Hey, February, be nice, ok? Because March is gonna be such a pain for I have to study for 9 months again. Please let it be another awesome month! :)

Hope January has been well for everyone and also, hopefully February will be even better! :D

20th (Part 2)

I used to look forward to my birthday. Some times I make plans with my friends, some birthdays are spent studying/training for MSSDs, a few others are spent in the car, a 6 hour ride back to Penang for CNY, another few awesome ones which I vow to remember for as long as I could. 

To be honest, I don't really look forward to this birthday. Not because I'll be 2- instead of 1- but because the 28th means I only have 31 more days here in Malaysia with the people I cherish. Now, I only have 29 days left. This is a lot worse than counting down for the final exam. :(

Until 2 days ago, the most memorable birthday I had was my 17th birthday. My last birthday in Kwang Hua.  Unexpected events - spot-check, a birthday cake in class, unexpected presents :)

Now, I had a wonderful 20th birthday that I promise I will remember. A huge thank you to two main humans for yesterday, Huey Khim and Shao Qian. The always quiet Shao Qian, thanks a bunch :)) Not only that, a huge thank you to all those that wished me through calls, texts, Twitter and Facebook! I really appreciate it all :)

My birthday wish has always been the same since the last.. 4-5 years? Hahaha! This year is no different. I used to wish for toys when I was little but meh, toys don't last. Lol. Anyway, I hope it comes true :D

As I grew older, everyone finds it harder to get me birthday presents. Relatives started giving angpaus, friends started kidnapping me and insist I buy something. Lol. The best birthday present, to me, is not the most expensive present but the handmade birthday cards that I've received. Seriously, they rank #1 :) I insist on making birthday cards for my best friends because I find those much more meaningful than those expensive cards sold in bookshops/Memory Lane. So next time, just give me a handmade card and I will be happy enough :D

Oh well, I am finally TWENTY. 20. They say that once you reach 20, time flies faster than you could ever imagine. Before you know it, it'll be your 30th birthday. Oh crap. Haha! Although I am not always a religious person, but I must say, I am thankful for being alive. Thankful for being able to reach 20 when some couldn't even reach 10. Thankful for being able to eat all I want when others don't even have a single bowl of rice at meal time. Thankful for being healthy and so much more. I pray.

Being 20, I think its time to start worrying about taking care of the family and sharing the financial burden with my parents. Its time to start achieving my goals in life and become a better person. Its time to become more independent and also to be able to look ahead. I don't want to be a burden to anybody and that's where I will start. To do better in Melbourne and not let my parents down.

I will do well in 2013.
I will mark off my resolutions one by one.

I will be strong :)

20th (Part 1)

I've finally entered the 20s. It sounds so old! No longer "1-" but "2-"! But its ok, age is just a number I suppose :)

The 28th is over but it doesn't matter, I still want to write this blog post before I delay and delay and finally don't even bother about posting it up any more. Hehh. Birthday feelings later, this outing first before I forget the funny parts :P

It all started with.. Being a cheapo. Lol. Weird start, isn't it? Huey Khim decided that my birthday was a day that shouldn't even exist and hence, she said, "let's just go out yumcha at Mahmudah. Roti canai enough, you don't even need Teh Ais, save my monehh!" What a great friend, because our conversation ended with me eating roti kosong (even roti planta is considered too much) without a drink. Isn't she a wonder? Anyways, she made sure that I was free on the 28th. But never once throughout the week that she mention about the roti canai so much so that I thought it was just a joke. Only once, out of the blue she said "SCM at 12pm, ok?" I was like, "huh?" Lol. Until the 27th did I know that it was actually a gathering instead of a lunch date. Major LOL and they were all laughing at my stupidity. Sorry lah, I didn't think that far lo please. :P

And good friends are like that. They tell you 12pm but they appear at 12.45pm. Luckily I over-slept and reached at 12.30pm. *thumbs up really!* What were they doing? Hiding in food court trying to finish up the card. Lol. I shall forgive you guys for being "late" and also all the crappy lies! :P Best liar of the day goes to Tan Huey Khim! For making up N lies until I refused to believe anything she said towards the end of the day! 

So, instead of the promised roti canai, they decided to eat at Carl's Jr. I paid for my plate and we happily ate while crapping like we always do. When I went to wash my hands, they decided to stuff money into my bag without me noticing but HA-HA! They were so happy that they accomplished the mission because I didn't notice it until when we were about to leave the place. Then, when I finally notice the amount they left in the bag, I was like.. "what's with RM 13?" Huey Khim PROUDLY, I really mean proud, answered, "the money you paid for lunch lah!" They even stuffed a receipt into my bag. I looked at the receipt and looked at the money, then I pulled out a receipt from my purse and said "THIS, is my receipt (RM19.10)" and everyone was laughing like mad. JOKE OF THE DAY! Tan Ah Khim, you FAIL! Lol! I seriously cannot forget the look on your face when you saw the actual receipt. HAHAHA! Epicness! :D

They bought movie tickets for The Impossible, partly because I mentioned that I wanna watch the movie but after the movie, everyone was asking me why I chose to watch such a sad movie on my birthday! Hahaha! It was a very meaningful movie wert! Just that everyone got so sad and a few cried. Hehh. Sorry! xD

They insisted that we go to the park outside Setia City Mall. Berkeras like seriously. And Shao Qian insisted that we stand on the steps and take pictures. I should have noticed something was not right. Haha! Anyway, they gave me a card in the shape of an iPad! Cuteness overload! Haha! The "Safari" app is missing though. Because they said it dropped off -___- Low quality glue bought by Teng Han! :P They mentioned that the iPad was designed by Thuan Song, because he was the only one who can come up with ideas like that. Thanks a lot, tts! :D And! Huey Khim mentioned that the not-so-nice parts in the card were done by Teng Han! Hahaha! But it still looks awesome to me! :D Thank you Shao Qian and Huey Khim for completing the iPad and also thanks to everyone who signed it :D Love it much!

Other than that, they got me a present, had dinner at WongKok with a huge cup of Milk Tea and watched Taxi Taxi. So we had a sad afternoon watching The Impossible but our day ended pretty well with a comedy, Taxi Taxi. I had a really great day out with you guys. Haha! I didn't expect it to be a gathering. I seriously thought it was at most a lunch date with Huey Khim. *whoops* Thank you guys a bunch for everything. "keechiew sumpah" I will remember this birthday. Definitely one of the best birthdays I've ever had :D

Thank you Eng Seng, Nyee Huey, Xin Ying, Zhi Yin, Hui Gee, Swee Thian, Huey Khim and Shao Qian for today. Thank you Thuan Song and Teng Han for the effort behind the card. I am really really glad to have friends like you guys! A true blessing :)

The Dark Side.

I've seen + learned so much within the last few days. Things which I've noticed but am not convinced about. But now, I'm sure, that's how it is.

1. Being nasty.

I've noticed this a few months back that we were pretty similar. We both were.. the older sister, the not-so-pretty sister, the-somewhat-lacking sister, the-childish sister etc. Not to mention we used to have the signature bad temper. I, see myself in her. I saw the nasty side of her and in my eyes, I saw, a younger me, behaving like a brat in public. I felt so irritated by the way she is behaving, then only to realize that I, most probably, behaved like that too in the past. Which, now, I am desperate to change. Because, there was a day when I wanted to say "don't be such a bitch!" in her face, in front of her parents. I do not want to relive that part of me. I don't want to be like that any longer. I am less than 3 days away from being 20y/o, I don't want to be a nasty brat any more.

2. Being demanding.

Having a demanding personality is well.. I don't know how to put it in words but I know it may seem fine to demand something from someone, it is definitely not fun. Because, it will only make you look like a stubborn person. Demanding this, demanding that, making others feel bad, making others lose their temper just so you can have what you want. Its too much. I gave an obvious 'head shake' - a big no-no. What I've learned, "Majority wins", "Go with the flow", "compromise". Do not make unreasonable demand and do not resort to throwing tantrums when things do not go your way.

3. Stop complaining.

All these while I was wondering why she never said a word about anything. And now I finally knew, it wasn't because she nodded towards the wrongdoings of the younger ones, but because we have no rights to voice our opinions. She said "don't comment about others, next time it will be avenged on you". A simple sentence that means more than what it seems. What she said is true in the sense that, we have no say in what others do, we should not talk about others because who knows we might have behaved in a similar manner? In simple terms, stop bitching about others. Praise but not shame.

A good friend said, "don't change yourself for others. If they don't appreciate you for who you are, they don't deserve you as a friend." I agree to this, but then again, I am not changing for others, I am changing to be a better me. I do not want to live my life being a person that I, myself do not like to deal with. #Resolution2013

The Finish Line.

Do you see the finish line?

Can you see someone getting first place and someone standing last?

That's called competition.

People COMPETE.

People COMPARE.

Have you, in the N years that you have lived, competed for something and won? Or competed for something and lost? Or, compared yourself to another individual, ever?

Had a family gathering just now and the adults talked about the children and about the extended family. I realized that.. Wow. I am living in such a competitive family that never stops comparing. Adults talked about how their children are not as smart as their cousins of similar age, which I believe is a very common thing. My parents compared me to my cousin of the same age who is a million times smarter than I am, no joke. Now its my younger cousins who got into this comparing mess and I wish them all the best, like seriously. Life's not gonna be easy when parents get stressed because you don't understand a math question. 

I used to work under pressure. The more I compare, the harder I work. Competing and comparing was my motivation. I must say, without these silly sources of motivation, I would not be able study Pharmacy today. Because, I am a very very very lazy person. I had a choice, to study or to be the talk of the family when I failed to achieve what they expect of me. I had to start studying before I become the target of the younger siblings. It runs in the family, every child's target is to achieve similar or better results that the elder child, which in my case, I am the target for everyone. And I will not allow humiliation to come to me just because of that. My sister jokingly said to me a few years back, "Jie, don't get such good results for SPM, I cannot achieve it leh". It was a joke, but we know someone has to lose. My cousins were told to be like Han-jiejie (what my cousins call me), to study in the professional league, to be a doctor, a dentist a pharmacist or an engineer.

But then again,

No two genes are the same. Or should I say no two humans are the same. I gave up comparing some time ago because I finally got some sense in my head to understand that all these comparing shitz will never end. Now, I only compete against myself. As long as I am improving, how other people did, it does not matter. I don't want my life to evolve around other people and how they live their life. I can be envious, I may be jealous, but by the end of the day, I'm living my own life, I do my own thing. I want studying to be my source of knowledge instead of my eagerness in competing. I want life to slow down and let me have time to observe my surroundings instead of having eyes that are blinded by the foolishness from comparing.

Say no more, I live my life. :)

2012/2013

It has been a while since I last blogged I suppose. But I still wanna mention some of the awesome events that happened during the last 2 weeks :)

#1 Went back to Penang with the family during Christmas. We went around looking for the iconic murals and tasted all the good food! It was the first time in 19 years that I feel like a tourist in Penang. But the price? I've got a terrible tan all because the murals for being so darn far apart. But thanks to that, I realized that there is really a lot to see in Penang. Things that I've never noticed before.

#2 Met up with the 'table-mates' from the senior high days - Sze Chin, Soh Ling and Qiu Shuang :)) It has been a really long time since I last met any of them. Although we've always been in touch but it definitely feels great to finally see them in person :)

#3 Congratulations to the two nursing teams! The results were pretty shocking I have to admit but nonetheless we're all really proud of you guys :) Thank you for letting me train you guys and thank you for inviting me over for the celebration. All the best in your future trainings yea! :)

#4 Hao jiu bu jian! Le best St John mates during the Kwang Hua days. I find it awesome how we still have so much to crap after so long. We talked about the old school days, about how we're coping right now and whatever plans we have in stored for the future. Although it was just a simple lunch but I really had a great time with them :) Hope to meet up again soon! :D

#5 it started off as a simple gathering at Setia City Mall. But I guess we got bored and didnt know what to do at SCM and decided to go back to Taylor's to have a look. The feeling of being back there at SS15 was pretty cool. Haha! We went to visit Mrs. Hoe in her office. We talked a bit and the next thing we knew, we were being pulled into filming a video for Taylor's. Shocking. And I pretty much looked like crap in every shot -_- But then again, it surely was a good experience :) 

#6 3 really nice girls that I've only got to know towards the end of my year in Taylor's. We all changed a bit but thankfully we still have something to share with each other. I'm glad to be able to meet up with them this summer and hopefully we'll be able to meet up again before I go back! :)

#7 Hello Pig Nyee Huey! I've not talked to her for.. A year I suppose? She has definitely gotten thinner and cuter! xD It was a wonderful afternoon with them. We've never stopped crapping throughout the 3 hours in Witchery Ider :P Why lah you guys so cute?! Sitting at the same table laughing like mad women all the time! Haha! We must have one whole year's worth of meet-ups before I go back! :D

#8 Hello Pinks! (and also Swee Thian!). Thanks to Hui Gee who wanted to see the padi and Shao Qian who wanted to see the fishes, we practically walked the whole Bukit Cahaya in one day. My goodness! I salute our own determination. Not to mention it rained really heavily while we were walking to the orchards. Playing under the rain like little kids? And taking shade under the ruined pondok. Haha! Good times. Oh! And I managed to go up the Lookout Tower for the first time! The other day I couldn't master my courage to go up that high a structure. I just waited below for my friends, but these people, especially Shao Qian and Thuan Song made sure I reached the very top and took a picture. Cruel but awesome friends. Haha! By the end of the day, my feet were like jelly when I reached home. Tired like mad. But still, it was a good exercise trip with everyone. Thanks a bunch to Huey Khim for organising this outing! Tiring but definitely an enjoyable one! :D

#9 Hospital Attachment.

Decided to join St John's hospital attachment to learn some new stuff and life in the medical line. My first shift was a morning shift from 9am to 9pm, last Sunday. In the car, my friends were already scaring me about how tedious and sort-of disgusting cases that will happen on that day. Oh gawd, that instant regret and nauseous feeling that came to me was...urgh.. indescribable. There were not any cases on Sunday, mostly are just cases where the casualty is short of breath. But after a few rounds around dressing room, the yellow and red zones, I realized how weak the human body is. I saw people with stroke, people who recently had a kidney surgery, people who survived a severe car accident with 10+ stitches across the left lung. Not excessively gross but still, nobody wants to be in that position. Lying there, waiting for your turn to meet the doctor and you know lah, waiting may mean an hour or two if you are lucky, a day or two if you are not? Not to mention the coolness of the medics when they receive an emergency call. I would be full of frustration waiting for them if I'm the caller. Never knew that's how it works in the hospital. I thought they'd be fighting for time, or was it because they're immune with all these emergency cases..? I have no idea what should I expect when I'm going for my next shift. They said that there's more to learn at a night shift but then.. I cannot bear to see anyone suffer. When I see others suffer, my head will automatically start thinking that its happening to me instead of others. *shudders* Humans are really fragile beings. Please cherish life and live every moment to the fullest. Nobody knows what will happen in the next minute/hour/day. 

301212

Don't tell me you're done with 2012 and all ready for 2013? I pretty sure we've not gotten enough of 2012, well.. At least I know I haven't.

In a few more minutes (as I am typing this post) it will be December 31st. The last day of 2012. And guess what, my resolutions list has to be moved forward but I am still a happy girl because I figured that I've definitely learned more this year compared to the past few years. And also, I had the chance to experience life aboard, to live in a wonderful place called Melbourne :)

I don't really know how to conclude 2012 for it has been way too meaningful. I can only say that I am blessed to have been able to get through all the hardship and to have been healthy up till today. Thankful to have a home to go back to and of course to still have that bunch of friends.

Let's not forget that we should show our future generations the movie 2012 and told them we survived! :P

Have a great new year's eve!

And of course,

All the best in the coming 2013! Best wishes, always! :)

A little fun!

When friends you've met overseas gather together at a place we all call home. 

All 5 of us met in Monash but we're all from Malaysia. We've decided to go on a food trip to Melaka, Seremban and around Klang. After all, that's where most of us are from. :D

Taking public transport one after the other. First the train, then the bus, then taxi? I've realized how lucky I was that I always had transport to all the places that I want to go and never had to use the public transport (although we're encouraged to do so. Lol) I've never been on a 4-5 hours ride on public transport (at least not that I can remember) and it wow-ed me how my friends used to travel when they were studying at INTEC (Shah Alam).

I won't be uploading pictures of every place we've been to because that would be too tedious and I am lazy :P Only a few group pics and some other more meaningful ones (we went to a zillion places and ate a zillion other stuff!) :)

First stop was Melaka. 

The guy on the left is Leroy. He did not follow us on our trip but was nice enough to be our tour guide in Melaka. He's good friends with Yen Jun (girl on the right). Leroy drove us around and YenJun paid for everything (of course we paid her back afterwards) and hence, they were our PAPA and MAMA! :DD

The five of us. Taken in one of the Nyonya Peranakan restaurants in Jonker Street.

A huge thank you to Leroy and Jonah for those two days of fun and overloading us with good food! :D Thank you for your time and also your effort in organising this part of our trip :))

 The scenery of Melaka at night was shooooo pweeeeetty! This shot was taken at Leroy's favourite parking lot. Lol!! Everything was about "Favourites" during this trip. Favourite shop, favourite parking lot, favourite road, favourite park, favourite pasar etc. The tour guides of each destination has a favourite.

Melaka - Leroy's favourite:

A restaurant called Wok and Pan. The pork chop is seriously not bad! Should try! :D

Next stop was Port Dickson and Seremban.

And our guide? CC and our dear MAMA! :D

In PD :) I have hair in my mouth -___- but this is the best shot with CC. So yea.. Lol.

Ok, and I just realized that in Seremban, we kept eating and eating till the extent that we didn't really take human pictures. Lol. All we took were pictures of the food we had. So.. Here's some of the good ones! :D

This porridge is LOVE! But to be honest, I couldn't tell what's in the porridge. I know there's pig intestines and pig's stomach but I can't tell properly as I literally swallowed everything without chewing (my wisdom tooth was killing me). So.. *whoops*

 What is this called again? Lui Cha is it? I don't think I've tried this before and well, I was clearly surprised to find it all minty and sweet at the same time. It was.. erm.. frankly, yucky :S But everyone else enjoyed this so it must have been good, just that it wasn't to my taste. *whoops again*

Seremban - YenJun's Favourite:

Last stop, KLANG!

The guide? Yours sincerely! :P

Brought them to Setia City Mall to kill time since it wasn't dark enough to go to i-City. Who knew we'd decide to take pictures at the fountain outside SCM. I really love that place. A great hang out for sure :))

Clockwise from top-left:

Kim Kim, Li Ean, Pei Qi and me.

From left:

YenJun, Li Ean, Me and Pei Qi :))

Group picture at i-City :)

Our plan to Broga failed because we didn't have transport in Seremban. Dang! I've never been able to go to Broga. Its so so freaking SAD! D: But anyways, I brought them to Bukit Cahaya since we're all determined to burn off the calories that we gained during the trip!

Bukit Cahaya

Self-timer because there's nobody besides monkeys. We've conquered Sapu Tangan alright! It was Pei Qi, Li Ean and Yen Jun's first visit to Bukit Cahaya. They were really proud of themselves when they've reached the top. Good going girls! :D I guess I must have really gained a lot of weight because I was really struggling to get up to the submit. I don't think I've struggled that much in the past. Bukit Cahaya really changed a lot. It's much prettier now and there're new parks..? Or maybe I've never noticed them before in the past xD

Pei Qi, me and Kim Kim. Only the three of us went inside the Rumah Iklim. Don't play play ah! It's -4 Degrees in there and we're the only ones wearing t-shirts and shorts. Everyone else is wearing uber thick jackets! We've been through intense training in Melbourne! This proved that we did not go through 9 months of unpredictable weather for nothing! :P It was cold at the start but after 20 minutes in there, we felt nothing. People were looking at us as if we're freaks! Haha! (Y)

Yeap, and that marks the end of our 4D3N food trip!

It was their first time around Klang. They were pretty excited when they saw the fountain and the lights in i-City. At first I was worried that they wouldn't like the places that I've planned to take them to. I guess it turned out pretty alright? Heh. Thanks girls, for trusting my driving and letting me show y'all the place I grew up! :DD

Special thanks to Yen Jun for planning all this too! It all started with a random statement in our practical class saying that we should meet up when we're back in Malaysia. It's all decided afterwards and YenJun made a huge effort to make this trip possible. I really thank you for giving me a chance to join you girls for such a memorable trip! Cheers everyone! :D

I guess we won't be meeting in Malaysia anymore.. So, let's look forward to being in the same tutorial/prac class again next year! Happy Holidays! :))

Pain, Gain

I realized that this blog is really gonna be dead if I don't update more often. So.. Here goes nothing!

* * *

After 2 months of torture brought to me by my dear wisdom tooth, I had a surgery to get the tooth out of my mouth. Because the "structure" of my mouth is obviously different from almost everyone (except everyone on my maternal side), the procedure to get rid of the tooth is slightly more tedious than expected. The worst part? My jawbone was shaved off (a third of it) to allow the tooth to come out. The sound of the machine was horrible. I can actually feel my jawbone being shaved even when the anaesthetic jabs were doing their best blocking the nerves on the left side of my face. I was numbed from eye-down. 

The whole procedure took up less than 45 minutes. But now, my face is swelled up like a pumpkin. Haha! Oh well, at least I will never have to worry one less tooth to worry about :)

* * *

A spoiled spoiled child. 

I want an iPhone, I want an iPad, I want a camera, I want this shoe, I want that bag, I want everything! But none of these things are essentials for me to go on with life. I don't need any of them, I just WANT them. Greedy as it may seem, I realized that I was really lucky. My parents seldom said No to what I want. No matter how unreasonable my request is, as long as it is within their budget, they would get it for me. I never knew how lucky I was, until I went overseas and had to control every cent I spent on myself. Knowing that each penny I'm using was earned through my parents' hard work. I started thinking twice before buying anything. I would ask myself "Do you really need it?" and "if you won't die without it, give it a second/third/fourth/Nth thought and don't regret it". I'll tell you, to push away something a girl has set her mind on buying is a darn-right-hard task. Depression. Lol.

* * *

I've learned many things in the past few months. But one thing I cannot get myself to learn is the way to express myself in a way that I won't offend anyone. Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I just can't talk properly, I don't know which, but I feel that I have problems communicating with people.

There's this one girl I know, we're always in a group. Whenever I say something, she would ALWAYS, ALWAYS find a mistake in whatever I say. I realized it so many times till the extent that I'm reluctant to talk whenever she's around. Once, I was just trying to say something like "You did a great job! Good for you!" to A, but she said (in a very sarcastic and insulting tone) to A "Zhi Han is just trying to say that you've never done well previously". I was like wtf?! Then again, I can't blame her because maybe I've said it in a wrong way. I really don't know.

I am very straightforward when it comes to things that I find unfair/unjust or simply just hateful. Only then, do I not care about what I say because I intend to be harsh. When I try to change a tone, people just say that I'm faking it. Sometimes, I'm really fed up with what others want of me in my speech but I can't ignore it, can I? Because if I do, it will just become more and more hard to communicate with people around me. Can anyone help me to talk properly? Loathe myself. 

* * *

Will talk about the trip soon :)

Gonna head to bed before my face swells up and becomes worse than how it already is.

Nighto!

I tried.

I tried. I wasn't good enough.

Everyone said passing is good enough. Yes, passing is good enough to move on to second year but deep inside, I don't want to get only a pass. I want either Ds or HDs. I don't want a shitty C either. I guess I will start with the "I-will-work-harder-next-semester" quotation again.

* * *

I'm not trying to impress anyone nor am I trying to be a show-off. I just want to make use of my time. I am trying to help because I would rather do that than to rot at home. I'm not who I used to be in this matter. You can judge me, I give no shit, but only I know what's really happening, not you.

* * *

I used to be the only one among my friends and family (girls) that's not afraid to step out under the hot sun for hours. Because at that time, I knew I'd never get fair and I'll only get tanner. But now that I've seen a fairer version of myself, I am no longer willing to stand under the uber hot sun at all. Now I get why my friends never liked the sun. Haha!

* * *

Now I'm bored like crap but when its January, you'll hardly see me saying I'm bored. I don't think I'd say that word at all for the month of January. I don't even know why there's so plans. Last minute plans? Crap. My timetable is just a mess.

* * *

Just some random thoughts from my not-really-functioning mind. Good night!