Nothing much.

My unlimited internet is still not here yet! Well, it is here, but there is problem with the connection and it is not fixed yet. By the time I can freely surf the net, it would be time to start semester 2 already. :( *sighs* Hopefully the problem can be fixed early next week!

* * *

Thanks to NTEU, I received the results for only 2 of my units. The other 2.. 生死未卜 and one of the units is the unit that I was so ganjiong for. Honestly, I dont understand why they only ban some of the units. You should just ban it all! Then we wont have to face the horror of checking our results twice. As if feeling depressed once is not enough..

* * *

I saw one of her photos taken today. She looks so weak now. And the pain never goes away. Honestly, it breaks my heart. She's suffering and I can't do anything to help her. Every time I called her, she would always tell me not to waste my money but I know it makes her happy. And despite being in pain, she still thought of me. When she was in Jakarta, she told her sister, "don't forget to buy the Converse shoes for Han, she needs them for her lab classes". I cried, for the fear of the unknown. Please stay strong, please be healthy and please, please, please wait for me. I know I still have a few years to go but please don't give up. Come and see me on my graduation day. I will make you proud :') I miss you, loads!

* * *

To my ever-so-understanding parents, thank you :') Thanks for understanding everything that I did and for encouraging me on. Last year, I find your complains about me not calling home very annoying. But this year, I would blame myself for not calling home more often. I miss you guys too :') One more semester and I'll be home!

* * *

Hmmm.. I guess that's all for now. Lol. Time to go to bed. Sand man, please come and make sure I'm asleep before leaving. Please make sure insomnia doesn't slip through my door. Thank you! And good night everyone :)

Crap.

Feeling like crap at the moment. I feel like everything is going against me today. So many stupid incidents. Ok, maybe not only today but these few days. I feel like a failed, failed, failed x infinity person. I am angry at myself for being annoyed and feeling like shit. And I have so many things that I have yet to bring myself to do after all this while. Which is even more depressing. What is wrong with me..?

When nothing goes right, go LEFT, they said. I really hope there is a "left" to go.

July.

A photo taken at the end of each month showing end of Summer, mid Autumn and Winter. Mid winter now. I am half way through my winter break already. Time stops for no one.

4th of July. The new apartment is finally available, not ready but available. Will be moving in tomorrow! I am kinda excited! Tomorrow's gonna be a busy dayyy! Haha! I hope everything goes well tomorrow! :D

All this while that I was waiting for the apartment, I was staying at a friend's studio apartment at College Square, Swanston St. Nash "borrowed" me her apartment while she is back in Sabah. Thank you, Nash! :DD College Square is such an awesome + strategic place. So close to food heaven (Lygon), close to supermarkets and walking distance to the city. The only downside, I can never afford the rent. Lol. Its more than twice of what I am paying at the moment. Oh well, at least I get to "try" it for a few days! Haha! Good enough!

The happy-go-lucky mood is on. Feeling blessed to have so many nice people around me. Always making me laugh and always, always helping me even though I have nothing to give. A huge thank you to these awesome people in my life. I cherish all this and I won't take things for granted :)

Moving out.

Have been staying in this neighbourhood for a year. I remember how much I loved this house when Flo and I first inspected it early April last year. The price was fairly reasonable for the both of us as we were sharing rooms. It is not really that big, its.. 2.5 storeys to be exact. The top floor has a room, a bathroom and a mezzanine where Flo and I studied. First floor was the living room and the kitchen. Ground floor was the boys' room, their own bathroom, laundry room and the garage.

What I like about this house is that it actually feels like a home. A very comfy home. I go home everyday, throw my bag on the lazy chair, get a drink from the fridge, go up to my study area, sit and chill.

Sharing a room wasn't easy, to be honest. Sharing a room with my sister was easy because we have been doing so for 18+ years (minus the years that I was here) and our lifestyle is almost the same - besides the fact that I talk on the phone too often, for too long. But sharing a room with people from a totally different background wasn't easy. I'm thankful that I am a good sleeper. Lol. But despite all our differences, I am thankful for getting to know her and having her for a roommate. Because we had a lot of laughs throughout the past year and our pillow talk sessions. I'm definitely gonna miss that. I'm gonna miss her :')

Sharing a house with the boys ain't easy. But it was a good try. It was quite fun having Jiunkai as a housemate as we walk to uni together and we can discuss our assignments together. And because he was the only person I knew when I first reached Monash, we knew each other since we were 7y/o, we have quite some mutual friends and we can talk about our primary and secondary school stuff - I appreciate all these. Both of them are gentlemen. Lol. Every time, when the three of us (Flo, JK and I) go do our groceries with our ah-soh-looking trolley, he will always say "I pull lah", even when the trolley is super heavy and we girls are holding on bags of other stuff, he will insist on taking as much as he can without complains. Oh and Tingyuen too. So throughout the year, whenever we went grocery shopping, we're almost always either empty-handed or at most with a very light bag. Thank you :') And also thank Tingyuen for letting us laugh like mad with the bangla jokes! HAHA!

Oklah. Now, I am moving to Brunswick, Flo to Hugesdale and the boys to Lygon. I am gonna miss every one of them. That is for sure :) Thank you guys for everything throughout the last year. Thank you guys so much :)

Post-exams.

This is so damn true. We study almost the same things but then in the end, pharmacists are not recognised as health care professionals and people prefer to listen to a doctor than  pharmacist. This is life.

Saying goodbye to all these alarms. In the beginning, I normally wake up at the first alarm but towards the third week, I fall back asleep and wake up to the second or the third. It is just too much stress! Had alarms like this for 3 weeks in a row. Say good-bye to alarms like this for at least 2-3 months!

Right after the exams ended, my expenses sky-rocketed. Was going out and enjoying the start of my winter break. And was busy finding a new apartment. That awesome moment when I've finally signed the contract! :D But then again, it means I have to spend more money now because the new place is not furnished. My new room is empty. I need to get at least a bed, a desk, a study lamp and a chair. Just these 4 things would cost me $500 already. I see the precious pocket's red flames of death. And that's just for my room D: And I have yet to start packing my stuff. Have to vacate this house this weekend. Excited to live in the new place but also a little sad to leave this nice house! I am definitely gonna miss this 3 storey house!

Came down with a cold today. I must admit I haven't been taking good care of myself since the exams ended. So I'm feeling so crappy right now. 1 degree outside is cold already and I'm feeling as if I am naked in the north pole. Damn cold. Really hope I get better soon. So much to do these few days! I should also bring myself to hunt for jobs and hopefully I can get one this winter!!

Anyways, Happy Holidays! :)

Three Quarters.

Three quarters. Done with 3 and down to 1.

The excitement is too much to handle, its so hard to study now.

Every emotion that I feel this week.

And I guess all pharmacy students are working very hard because most friends around me are sick. I hope they get well soon! I know how shitty it feels to be having your exams when you're sick. And worse, being sick when the holiday starts. Lol. Take care! :)

And I've started paying my sleep debt. ITS TOO EARLY TO PAY BACK NOW! But then again, my body refuses to start working after 4 hours of sleep. Nowadays, I can't wake up unless I sleep a full 6 or 7 hours. Spent too much time sleeping. Aduei!

Anyways, I am looking forward to Thursday! Rotten morning (exam) but definitely a busy day out :D Last paper of the semester! (also the 2nd hardest paper of the semester!) Let's finish this! >:)

Nuuuuz.

So, I finally got to know how it feels like to not know if you're gonna pass that exam or not kind of feel.

It feels like hell. A real hell.

Today's paper was a total... Piece of clean shit. Clean because I left a few questions blank. Shit because I am in deep shit. I studied so damn hard. I really did. But I guess I used the wrong studying method? I really don't know anymore.

When 3 cups of coffee failed to wake me up. I take this. And well, it doesn't really work either. But I have 30 bottles I think. 15 for each semester. And I bet you finally understand why I have so much luggage when I came back to Melbourne this year.

Screw the exams. Its over already anyway. Can't do anything about it besides hoping that I have enough marks to pass the paper. Please please please, let me pass!

It has been a really tiring week. I am physically and mentally drained. I really need some sleep. Its only a fine line that separates sanity and mental breakdown. And I am definitely walking on that line right now. Should start taking desperate measures to pull myself back together!

Target of the night: Get 8 hours of sleep.

Tomorrow target: Finish all 25 lectures for Basis of Drug Action.

Must do it right!

And lastly, am blessed to have friends like them. Thanks for the words of encouragement! And also for whatsapp-ing me all those photos just to distract me/cheer me up, thanks a lot, I really appreciate it :D 2 more units left! :)

The Day.

Having my exams in less than 4 hours and I am still here blogging. I guess its sort of like "I have no more shits to give" thing.

How many do you have? I have 6. Miraculously, my temper is more than well under control. Instead of losing my temper, I lose my sanity. I can laugh for no particular reason and I get pretty depressed all of a sudden too. The wonder of stress.

The paper I am having later is Pharmacist as Communicators. "All you need is common sense" they say. "And you can just bullshit your way through the paper" said the lecturer. Oh-puh-lease. I have no common sense and I ain't kidding. I hate papers like this because I can study all day and night and still cannot do well. Easily said, I have no talent in crapping. *boo*

Hopefully I am slightly more alert now. I really hope this first paper does not kill me. Please be nice to me! I have Cell Functions tomorrow! That, can really make a student go insane. I really wonder how all those seniors got a HD *orz* I am just aiming for a D and I hope my prep work is up for it.

ALL THE BEST TO ALL MONASH PAC 2ND YEAR STUDENTS!

8 more days till our last paper and also the smell of winter break!

Going MAD.

Here, the amount of paper and files at my study area. I'm super messy during the exams.

This time round, I really studied. I spent days and days and days studying from morning till night. I really don't know how will I react if I still can't achieve the results that I want. I think I'll go mad.

Studying about the nervous system and about all those psychotic drugs are just too overwhelming and making me feel like I'll be a psycho too! And studying about cancer pathology is mutating my brain cells. 

I have been waking up at 3-4am to study. When its time for me to wake up, my roommate goes to sleep.  This whole house is a stress-inducer. 4 students, all studying like mad every day. Not only that, I need to find a new place to stay. Have been wasting my time to inspect houses that are not even worth considering. I hate photoshop seriously. The houses look damn nice on the website and when I reached there, it was old, it was dirty, it was disgusting. Although I am pretty desperate to find a place because once my exams are over, I would have to move out asap but I will not let myself suffer living in a place as dirty as those that I've inspected. More stress. More time wasted.

I hope everything will be resolved by end of this month and then I can finally live in peace!

Counting down 4 days till my first paper.

Please be nice to me!

Easy Peasy.

Its 5.20am now and I am up just to study. It took me a hell load of effort to actually wake up an hour ago. But I know I'd regret if I let myself fall back to sleep. No more time! No more precious time! Time, you are too fast!

My motivation:

Where did these came from?

Those health and fitness pages on Facebook. I find that it does not only relates to health and fitness but to almost everything we ever set out to do in our lives. All we have to do, is to do it. Dream it, do it, achieve it.

P/s. If you are sleepy in the wee hours of dawn, down one cup of colder-than-room-temperature water and you'll be wide awake. I do that every morning, it works :)

Good luck to everyone who's having their finals soon!