No, I can't.

I cannot stop you from reading what you've already read,

I cannot stop you from thinking what's on your mind right now,

I cannot stop you from doing what you feel like doing to me,

But what I can do is, I won't show you the best of me.

For a moment there, I felt ashamed of myself for what I have done.

But after what you did, I realized that I was foolish to feel ashamed of that thought.

I don't know what's in your mind right now,

but I know, it's only 2 months and 3 days away.

Then, I will smile, from the bottom of my heart.

When I look at you, I feel the heat, the anger, the feeling of wanting to overthrow you.

I questioned myself, what and why did I make this decision.

I look at myself in the mirror, I am no longer the little girl who will ask mummy to braid her hair before school, I am the girl who would work out all the necessary measures to fend herself.

I will, show you, I can do, whatever I set myself to do.

Fantastic!

I give my thanks to my Maths tutor for introducing this website to the class a few weeks back. Have you ever heard of it? Its Khan Academy !!

I can find most of my Organic Chemistry and Physicochemical Basis of Pharmacy topics here! For people who are kind of struggling for Maths, you should have a look too. Seriously, you will learn a lot! Haha!

This is not a paid ad. I don't get any benefit for sharing this. I am sharing this because I feel that it will be able to help other people to understand what they're studying :)

This is not tailored to the Australian syllabus and it really helps :) I see most of my SAM syllabus there as well! xD

To Salman Khan who invented this site, you're awesome! :D

Hope this helped you guys in some way or another :)

Get a life!

I thought I bid Wah Lai Toi/TVB goodbye after I left Malaysia. But thanks to Amanda, my uni friend, I get to watch The Hippocratic Crush!

It is definitely one of the best TVB dramas I've ever watched! Because I've never tortured my eyes to watch shows for more than 6 hours straight and this show made me sit in front of my computer from 8pm all the way till 2am! *that'swhyIthinkIamgonnafailmytests!*

Seriously, when you watch this show, please put a box of tissue or take a handkerchief or whatever. You can seriously cry till you're dry for this show! xD Okok, maybe I was too emotional when the people started dying. This show is just too awesome lah! xD

I managed to control myself and watch 1 episode a day, until I reached the 16th episode, I finished all the rest within 24 hours. I should never ever lose control like that anymore. Not good :S

Anyhow, I shall not fool around any more. My weekly tests starts next week! And presentation the week after! Time to do some hardcore studying! I want HDs!!!! *Imustbedreaming!*

Instagram!

It's back to school!! Sorry, I mean uni!

The first few days of uni was ok, I suppose. Besides the fact that the exams are near and I am telling myself that I must work harder than the rest because I spend too much time on transportation everyday that I have a few hours lesser than everyone else.

It is a sad thing that coffee does not work well on me.

I still feel sleepy even after drinking kopi-o! lol.

Anyway, Instagram is finally in the android market! xD

I never really wanted this app but I saw so many people using it and it seems good so I downloaded it. Now I think it's a brilliant app because I feel like I am getting a real life update on le friends' life even though I am not with them :)

Ma photos from Instagram! xD

At Flinder's Street Station, waiting for the 6.03pm train to go home :)

Outside Monash, waiting for the tram to get to Flinders. The sky is a wonderful thing, don't you think?

The big clock in Melbourne Central.

At this shop called the "Sugar Station". I look at the jelly beans and I just drool! xD $3.90 for 100g. Not worth it :/

It's my lucky lucky day! It's so beautiful!

And the next picture, is the worst photo I have ever posted. Because it is so mean!

This is the type of shitz that I get from my cousins! Grrrr!!! But whatever, I am counting down the days! I will get out of here in no time! :P

Alrighto, I should start working on my tutorial sheets!

I shall fight for my dreams! :)

Easter Holidays

My Easter holidays are treating me quite well. 

Although I did not follow my timetable exactly but I did manage to utilize my time efficiently for all my things. So proud! xD

Three more days and it's back to uni life.

Final exams in 7 more weeks!

I must nail this exam!

I can't wait for July! I found a house that's so super pretty and cosy and it is within walking distance from Monash. The rent is almost 40% LESS than the standard price for a house! I am so glad to be able to find that house. Now I really do hope that I can get it. *fingers crossed!* :D

Until next time! :)

Happy holidays!

I have a one week holiday!

It's supposed to be our Easter break and also mid-semester break.

But due to all the assignments and tests after the holidays, there's not much of a holiday mood I guess? Oh well, last minute people will always struggle last minute *whoops!*

What's Easter without chocolate eggs?! xD

Happy Easter everyone :)

I am not a Christian but I do appreciate what Jesus did :)

A big thank you and *hugs* to the two besties back in Malaysia :)

Love you guys so much! :D

Love receiving letters :))

From Esther Teh :)

 From Sze Chin :D

I will reply the letters soon! Be sure to check your mailbox often :D

* * *

Trying out new stuff is just a part of our lives.

So.. My friends and I decided to go for a Monash event held by the Monash Parkville Students Association (MPSA) called Lounge Night.

In other words, it is an event where you pay the minimal amount for clubbing.

It was held at Marrakech Cocktail Bar located at Little Collins Street.

This whole lane is filled with bars. This was what it looked like when we left at 12am.

I had to put a night at a friend's house because I don't want to go home to my uncle's house with a nasty stench and it wouldn't be nice to ask them to stay up late just to pick me up from the train station.

Everyone gets 3 drink cards where we can order almost anything on the menu.

3 stickers each so we can stick it on other people. The person who has the most number of stickers wins an iPad 3. Awesome eh? Too bad, I am not so thick-faced to get and ask around for stickers like what other people did :P

First timer.

I had three shots. A glass of House Wine, one House Tequila and a Strawberry Daiquiri. The last one was on the house. The bartenders just walked around and randomly gave 5 people free cocktails and I was one of them xD Funny, I thought I would be drunk after the tequila because they said it was really strong but I can still walk in a straight line. #notbad :P

But these things are a "try it once, no more next time" thing I suppose? :)

Should not get the habit of drinking. Not good xD

That's all for now folks!

Hoping to enjoy my holidays :D

March.

The end of March reminds me that I have 2 more months till my Semester 1 final exams.

Time flies, I have been here for 7 weeks already. 5 study weeks, 1 orientation and 1 get-to-know-Melbourne week.

Called my mum today and she said, "Aiyor.. 7 weeks only meh? It seems like you've been gone forever" Awwww... xD I miss you too mum <3 I really do wonder how's everyone back home.

Somehow I envy my friends who have the chance to go back to Malaysia during our winter holidays. I chose not to go back because I wanted to save money. I regretted making that decision. The airfares are so expensive now I don't even dare to look.

Nothing much happened these few weeks. Besides studying studying and more studying, there's nothing much.

I lead a boring life. Don't remind me :P

*turns on study mood*

Time to do my homework!

Must.Must.Must.Get.Good.Results!

P/s. I cannot be so careless anymore! x( Lost 1% for physicochem already :((((

P/p/s. Happy April Fool! I am sure I won't be fooled this year because I am sure no one will call me and prank me! xD Too far away

The fact.

*wipes away negative vibes*

I have been an emotional wreak these few days.

Bad news again this afternoon. The earliest that I can move out of here would be in July.

*sings - you are far, far away!*

Fine.

*get rid of grumpy face*

Will try my best not to be grumpy anymore and focus on my studies.

No point ruining my day for something stupid.

Tan Zhi Han, learn to live with all this crap!

I shall learn how to shut myself from the things that annoy me.

*go-away-crappy-life-and-I-shall-thank-you!*

* * *

Anyway, I realized I never really post about my dad coming for a visit. So here it is :)

As I mentioned before, my daddy came to visit me last, last weekend. For 5 days. It is stupid how I used to not really appreciate him in the past 19 years. I had to come ALL THE WAY to Australia to realize how important my family is to me and how much I love them. I am sorry and I promise it won't happen again  ♥

I nearly cried when I saw him at the airport at 1.30am. I was so so happy! I remember I couldn't really sleep that night because I was so happy that he's finally here!

The next morning, both of us went to tour the city. 

I showed him the route that his poor daughter has to walk about 2 - 3 times a week. What he said was...

"zhe me yuan ah?! Girl, wo bu neng liao leh" XD

His first photo in Melbourne! xD

Imagine if I walk here after dark. It will be so scary :S

I brought him over to Monash to have a look. And look what we did while we were there..

Skyping with the mum and sister who're back in Malaysia  ♥

On the Sunday that my dad came, my uncle brought us out for a road trip for the first time.

On weekdays, my dad would spend his time walking around the city while I am having my classes. When it's lunch time, he'll come over to Monash and we'll have lunch together :)

How CUTE?! xD

5 days came and went.

My uncle helped to print some photos for dad to bring home to Malaysia to show everyone back home. 

I was a wreak. It was so hard to say goodbye all over again.

Our last photo together before we went home.

Like daddy said, at least we had 5 days. Way better than if he didn't come at all :')

I will be alright daddy :)

* * *

I met up with a friend's brother who's working at Melbourne last Saturday.

He reminds me a lot of his brother, very easy to talk to. Penguin, are you reading this? :D

Thanks for the lunch and I really appreciate all your help :)

* * *

Everyone is looking forward for the Easter holidays - 2 weeks from now.

I hope I can get the best out of this holiday. Mid-semester exams coming. I must be well-prepared.

Hopefully I will get through all these in one piece! :)

Till then :)

Thanks Daddy :)

Family, I wonder why I kept a distance in the past.

I am so sorry.

I never knew that my family meant the world to me until I am 6392 km away.

Thank you daddy, for visiting me in Australia.

It has been the best 5 days I had in Australia.

I couldn't ask for anything more.

I love you :)

I promise I'll be ok :')

My room feels so empty now.

No extra mattress, no extra luggage, no more messy desk.

Nobody to talk to, nobody to walk home with me, nobody will be waiting for me at home.

Sigh. It's gonna be hard trying to get used to all these again.

Time, my best companion and yet it may be my worse enemy at some point.

I will.

I find it awesome that I am paying more attention in class compared to the pass.

I find it awesome that I can actually understand what the lecturers are teaching.

I find it awesome that I've learned to work harder for myself and do what I HAVE to instead of what I WANT to.

My short term goal - I will love this course!

(I'm not joking, I realized that I don't really like this course after all the lecturers told us what we're suppose to do, how huge is our responsibility etc. People can die because of one simple mistake we make - Note to self: Must learn to be extra careful with everything.)

My long term goal - Get good grades and enjoy life here in Melbourne!

Assignments only mahh! I shall be diligent and finish one written assignment this weekend! :D

Daddy's coming next weekend! Muahaha! :DD I can't wait!