Pain, Gain

I realized that this blog is really gonna be dead if I don't update more often. So.. Here goes nothing!

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After 2 months of torture brought to me by my dear wisdom tooth, I had a surgery to get the tooth out of my mouth. Because the "structure" of my mouth is obviously different from almost everyone (except everyone on my maternal side), the procedure to get rid of the tooth is slightly more tedious than expected. The worst part? My jawbone was shaved off (a third of it) to allow the tooth to come out. The sound of the machine was horrible. I can actually feel my jawbone being shaved even when the anaesthetic jabs were doing their best blocking the nerves on the left side of my face. I was numbed from eye-down. 

The whole procedure took up less than 45 minutes. But now, my face is swelled up like a pumpkin. Haha! Oh well, at least I will never have to worry one less tooth to worry about :)

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A spoiled spoiled child. 

I want an iPhone, I want an iPad, I want a camera, I want this shoe, I want that bag, I want everything! But none of these things are essentials for me to go on with life. I don't need any of them, I just WANT them. Greedy as it may seem, I realized that I was really lucky. My parents seldom said No to what I want. No matter how unreasonable my request is, as long as it is within their budget, they would get it for me. I never knew how lucky I was, until I went overseas and had to control every cent I spent on myself. Knowing that each penny I'm using was earned through my parents' hard work. I started thinking twice before buying anything. I would ask myself "Do you really need it?" and "if you won't die without it, give it a second/third/fourth/Nth thought and don't regret it". I'll tell you, to push away something a girl has set her mind on buying is a darn-right-hard task. Depression. Lol.

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I've learned many things in the past few months. But one thing I cannot get myself to learn is the way to express myself in a way that I won't offend anyone. Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I just can't talk properly, I don't know which, but I feel that I have problems communicating with people.

There's this one girl I know, we're always in a group. Whenever I say something, she would ALWAYS, ALWAYS find a mistake in whatever I say. I realized it so many times till the extent that I'm reluctant to talk whenever she's around. Once, I was just trying to say something like "You did a great job! Good for you!" to A, but she said (in a very sarcastic and insulting tone) to A "Zhi Han is just trying to say that you've never done well previously". I was like wtf?! Then again, I can't blame her because maybe I've said it in a wrong way. I really don't know.

I am very straightforward when it comes to things that I find unfair/unjust or simply just hateful. Only then, do I not care about what I say because I intend to be harsh. When I try to change a tone, people just say that I'm faking it. Sometimes, I'm really fed up with what others want of me in my speech but I can't ignore it, can I? Because if I do, it will just become more and more hard to communicate with people around me. Can anyone help me to talk properly? Loathe myself. 

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Will talk about the trip soon :)

Gonna head to bed before my face swells up and becomes worse than how it already is.

Nighto!