301212

Don't tell me you're done with 2012 and all ready for 2013? I pretty sure we've not gotten enough of 2012, well.. At least I know I haven't.

In a few more minutes (as I am typing this post) it will be December 31st. The last day of 2012. And guess what, my resolutions list has to be moved forward but I am still a happy girl because I figured that I've definitely learned more this year compared to the past few years. And also, I had the chance to experience life aboard, to live in a wonderful place called Melbourne :)

I don't really know how to conclude 2012 for it has been way too meaningful. I can only say that I am blessed to have been able to get through all the hardship and to have been healthy up till today. Thankful to have a home to go back to and of course to still have that bunch of friends.

Let's not forget that we should show our future generations the movie 2012 and told them we survived! :P

Have a great new year's eve!

And of course,

All the best in the coming 2013! Best wishes, always! :)

A little fun!

When friends you've met overseas gather together at a place we all call home. 

All 5 of us met in Monash but we're all from Malaysia. We've decided to go on a food trip to Melaka, Seremban and around Klang. After all, that's where most of us are from. :D

Taking public transport one after the other. First the train, then the bus, then taxi? I've realized how lucky I was that I always had transport to all the places that I want to go and never had to use the public transport (although we're encouraged to do so. Lol) I've never been on a 4-5 hours ride on public transport (at least not that I can remember) and it wow-ed me how my friends used to travel when they were studying at INTEC (Shah Alam).

I won't be uploading pictures of every place we've been to because that would be too tedious and I am lazy :P Only a few group pics and some other more meaningful ones (we went to a zillion places and ate a zillion other stuff!) :)

First stop was Melaka. 

The guy on the left is Leroy. He did not follow us on our trip but was nice enough to be our tour guide in Melaka. He's good friends with Yen Jun (girl on the right). Leroy drove us around and YenJun paid for everything (of course we paid her back afterwards) and hence, they were our PAPA and MAMA! :DD

The five of us. Taken in one of the Nyonya Peranakan restaurants in Jonker Street.

A huge thank you to Leroy and Jonah for those two days of fun and overloading us with good food! :D Thank you for your time and also your effort in organising this part of our trip :))

 The scenery of Melaka at night was shooooo pweeeeetty! This shot was taken at Leroy's favourite parking lot. Lol!! Everything was about "Favourites" during this trip. Favourite shop, favourite parking lot, favourite road, favourite park, favourite pasar etc. The tour guides of each destination has a favourite.

Melaka - Leroy's favourite:

A restaurant called Wok and Pan. The pork chop is seriously not bad! Should try! :D

Next stop was Port Dickson and Seremban.

And our guide? CC and our dear MAMA! :D

In PD :) I have hair in my mouth -___- but this is the best shot with CC. So yea.. Lol.

Ok, and I just realized that in Seremban, we kept eating and eating till the extent that we didn't really take human pictures. Lol. All we took were pictures of the food we had. So.. Here's some of the good ones! :D

This porridge is LOVE! But to be honest, I couldn't tell what's in the porridge. I know there's pig intestines and pig's stomach but I can't tell properly as I literally swallowed everything without chewing (my wisdom tooth was killing me). So.. *whoops*

 What is this called again? Lui Cha is it? I don't think I've tried this before and well, I was clearly surprised to find it all minty and sweet at the same time. It was.. erm.. frankly, yucky :S But everyone else enjoyed this so it must have been good, just that it wasn't to my taste. *whoops again*

Seremban - YenJun's Favourite:

Last stop, KLANG!

The guide? Yours sincerely! :P

Brought them to Setia City Mall to kill time since it wasn't dark enough to go to i-City. Who knew we'd decide to take pictures at the fountain outside SCM. I really love that place. A great hang out for sure :))

Clockwise from top-left:

Kim Kim, Li Ean, Pei Qi and me.

From left:

YenJun, Li Ean, Me and Pei Qi :))

Group picture at i-City :)

Our plan to Broga failed because we didn't have transport in Seremban. Dang! I've never been able to go to Broga. Its so so freaking SAD! D: But anyways, I brought them to Bukit Cahaya since we're all determined to burn off the calories that we gained during the trip!

Bukit Cahaya

Self-timer because there's nobody besides monkeys. We've conquered Sapu Tangan alright! It was Pei Qi, Li Ean and Yen Jun's first visit to Bukit Cahaya. They were really proud of themselves when they've reached the top. Good going girls! :D I guess I must have really gained a lot of weight because I was really struggling to get up to the submit. I don't think I've struggled that much in the past. Bukit Cahaya really changed a lot. It's much prettier now and there're new parks..? Or maybe I've never noticed them before in the past xD

Pei Qi, me and Kim Kim. Only the three of us went inside the Rumah Iklim. Don't play play ah! It's -4 Degrees in there and we're the only ones wearing t-shirts and shorts. Everyone else is wearing uber thick jackets! We've been through intense training in Melbourne! This proved that we did not go through 9 months of unpredictable weather for nothing! :P It was cold at the start but after 20 minutes in there, we felt nothing. People were looking at us as if we're freaks! Haha! (Y)

Yeap, and that marks the end of our 4D3N food trip!

It was their first time around Klang. They were pretty excited when they saw the fountain and the lights in i-City. At first I was worried that they wouldn't like the places that I've planned to take them to. I guess it turned out pretty alright? Heh. Thanks girls, for trusting my driving and letting me show y'all the place I grew up! :DD

Special thanks to Yen Jun for planning all this too! It all started with a random statement in our practical class saying that we should meet up when we're back in Malaysia. It's all decided afterwards and YenJun made a huge effort to make this trip possible. I really thank you for giving me a chance to join you girls for such a memorable trip! Cheers everyone! :D

I guess we won't be meeting in Malaysia anymore.. So, let's look forward to being in the same tutorial/prac class again next year! Happy Holidays! :))

Pain, Gain

I realized that this blog is really gonna be dead if I don't update more often. So.. Here goes nothing!

* * *

After 2 months of torture brought to me by my dear wisdom tooth, I had a surgery to get the tooth out of my mouth. Because the "structure" of my mouth is obviously different from almost everyone (except everyone on my maternal side), the procedure to get rid of the tooth is slightly more tedious than expected. The worst part? My jawbone was shaved off (a third of it) to allow the tooth to come out. The sound of the machine was horrible. I can actually feel my jawbone being shaved even when the anaesthetic jabs were doing their best blocking the nerves on the left side of my face. I was numbed from eye-down. 

The whole procedure took up less than 45 minutes. But now, my face is swelled up like a pumpkin. Haha! Oh well, at least I will never have to worry one less tooth to worry about :)

* * *

A spoiled spoiled child. 

I want an iPhone, I want an iPad, I want a camera, I want this shoe, I want that bag, I want everything! But none of these things are essentials for me to go on with life. I don't need any of them, I just WANT them. Greedy as it may seem, I realized that I was really lucky. My parents seldom said No to what I want. No matter how unreasonable my request is, as long as it is within their budget, they would get it for me. I never knew how lucky I was, until I went overseas and had to control every cent I spent on myself. Knowing that each penny I'm using was earned through my parents' hard work. I started thinking twice before buying anything. I would ask myself "Do you really need it?" and "if you won't die without it, give it a second/third/fourth/Nth thought and don't regret it". I'll tell you, to push away something a girl has set her mind on buying is a darn-right-hard task. Depression. Lol.

* * *

I've learned many things in the past few months. But one thing I cannot get myself to learn is the way to express myself in a way that I won't offend anyone. Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I just can't talk properly, I don't know which, but I feel that I have problems communicating with people.

There's this one girl I know, we're always in a group. Whenever I say something, she would ALWAYS, ALWAYS find a mistake in whatever I say. I realized it so many times till the extent that I'm reluctant to talk whenever she's around. Once, I was just trying to say something like "You did a great job! Good for you!" to A, but she said (in a very sarcastic and insulting tone) to A "Zhi Han is just trying to say that you've never done well previously". I was like wtf?! Then again, I can't blame her because maybe I've said it in a wrong way. I really don't know.

I am very straightforward when it comes to things that I find unfair/unjust or simply just hateful. Only then, do I not care about what I say because I intend to be harsh. When I try to change a tone, people just say that I'm faking it. Sometimes, I'm really fed up with what others want of me in my speech but I can't ignore it, can I? Because if I do, it will just become more and more hard to communicate with people around me. Can anyone help me to talk properly? Loathe myself. 

* * *

Will talk about the trip soon :)

Gonna head to bed before my face swells up and becomes worse than how it already is.

Nighto!

I tried.

I tried. I wasn't good enough.

Everyone said passing is good enough. Yes, passing is good enough to move on to second year but deep inside, I don't want to get only a pass. I want either Ds or HDs. I don't want a shitty C either. I guess I will start with the "I-will-work-harder-next-semester" quotation again.

* * *

I'm not trying to impress anyone nor am I trying to be a show-off. I just want to make use of my time. I am trying to help because I would rather do that than to rot at home. I'm not who I used to be in this matter. You can judge me, I give no shit, but only I know what's really happening, not you.

* * *

I used to be the only one among my friends and family (girls) that's not afraid to step out under the hot sun for hours. Because at that time, I knew I'd never get fair and I'll only get tanner. But now that I've seen a fairer version of myself, I am no longer willing to stand under the uber hot sun at all. Now I get why my friends never liked the sun. Haha!

* * *

Now I'm bored like crap but when its January, you'll hardly see me saying I'm bored. I don't think I'd say that word at all for the month of January. I don't even know why there's so plans. Last minute plans? Crap. My timetable is just a mess.

* * *

Just some random thoughts from my not-really-functioning mind. Good night!

10 days.

To think about it, I have exactly 3 months left till the day I return to Melbourne. Everything is happening way too fast I suppose. We're entering the last month of the year already. 2012 went just as soon as it came.

Holidays. I should be having fun but everyday, when I wake up, I ask myself "what should I do today?", which is rather annoying. Given the fact that I want to get the best out of my holidays but I don't know what to do. I want to meet up with all the people that I missed, eat all the food that I crave and go to all the places I enjoy. Unlike in Aussieland, I don't feel like doing all these alone. I feel like sharing those places with my friends and family. I guess people are funny like that, when they know that they have no one to depend on, they are more than independent; but once they have people to talk to, to be happy with, they just become more dependent on others. Dont you think..?

Watched Breaking Dawn Part 2 with Shao Qian the other day. Thanks mate! But no thanks for making me eat all the "salty" popcorn. I've never eaten that much popcorn in one day. Lol. And the grandmother stories has no ending, gossiping like biatches. Guess who gossiped the most? Haha! He said he couldn't finish the story even if he had 3 days -_- Nonetheless it was a great catch-up session with ya! :D Shao Qian and Thuan Song dropped by my house yesterday. Nice seeing you again Thuan Song! You seem to be... much tanner than the last time I saw you! :P And to Tan Ah Khim who called me today - which left me speechless because she actually called (after not answering my calls and texts for 10 days - what a friend). I'm looking forward to the day you finish your STPM! 2 more weeks! Then we can start planning on what we'd want to do yea! Can't wait to see if you've grown "rounder" :DD I'm glad to have friends like them!

I guess I shall call it a night. Dental appointment is so freaking early I doubt I can even wake up and rush to Damansara in time -_- Any how, Nighto! :))

Home Sweet Home

It has been a few days since I've been home. Haven't been updating because I am busy with my family time! Hahaha! And mostly due to jetlag - I have to sleep around 11pm for the last 2 days because that's 2am at Aussieland and that's the time I usually fall asleep xD

The 8 hours and 15 minutes on the plane was the longest 8.25 hours in my life! Lol. I couldnt sleep because I'm seriously so excited! I can't believe that I am actually on my way home! Haha! When I reached LCCT, you should seriously see the way I walked. My seat was right behind the premium class, so once they left, I rushed out right behind them. And when I reached the custom, let's just say I was the amongst the first few to reach there I didnt even have to queue up to have my passport checked! That moment when I saw my dad at the arrival hall, I nearly broke into tears, I was so, so happy to be home! Oh yea, you should have also seen the way I breathe after I left the aircraft. I was seriously gasping for breath. I was right, the air is seriously polluted -_- and partly because it was so hot and humid.

When I reached my aunt's house, everyone was there and they were sort of making a commotion about me coming and my lil cousin brother rushed to the door to see who was it. When he saw me, he started CRYING! *heartache* He couldnt recognise me! D: Only after the parents explained that its "hanhan jiejie" did he stopped crying. Lol. And guess wert, as I've 'proudly' predicted, my aunt said "wah!! Fat liao!!" -_____- It feels great to see everyone after so long :)) Miss them much! :D

Although I feel like going out and meeting up with friends but I convinced myself to stay at home at least until the coming Monday. I really should spend more time with my family this time round. That's my promise :)

There's so many things I want to do, all the food that I want to eat! I hope these 3 months would be enough for me to do everything I want to do! :) So many outings! I am looking forward to everyone of them! :D See you guys very soon :)

8 Months.

It has been 8 months and 10 days since the day I came to Melbourne. Now, it is time to go home :)

In these 8 months, I've been through so many things. I've learned so much. I may not have any obvious change in my personality/attitude or whatsoever but I know, the way I look at things now is totally different.

I am having mixed feelings right now. Although I have been waiting to go home throughout the whole 8 months but now that it is time to go home, I feel kinda sad. Sad to leave Melbourne. Life here in Melbourne may not be the best in terms of having fun but it is the best place to learn and to grow. And I am gonna miss every bit of it. (But then again, when it is time to leave Malaysia and come back to Melbourne, I will say that I dont want to come back, that's just how we are, isn't it?)

17 more hours and I'll be happily breathing the polluted air of Klang. Doesn't sound very welcoming but that's home alright. :) See you folks soon!

Ready to Fly.

12th November 2012

The day of my last paper - Systems Physiology. Won't talk about how the exam went but I will focus on what happened after the exams. Haha! I am just gonna retrieve the photos from my Instagram and Facebook updates to complete this post alright? xD

Amanda, Florina, Jessie and I went to celebrate the last day of our exams at Big Mama Korean Restaurant @ Swanston Street. Besides Amanda, it was our first time at the place. I am definitely going back there again. The food is just AWESOME! :D Or maybe we were just too happy that we've finished our finals so everything tasted especially good? Lol. Anyhow, it was a great start to my last week in Melbourne :)

* * *

13th November 2012

I mentioned that I will be going to the Great Ocean Road in my last post. And this, was my expectation of what it would be:

And this was what I saw:

This is located to the left of the apostles in the previous pictures. These apostles are facing the sun, the others, were not, so it turned out to be like this:

Slightly darker in the photo but I assure you it looks awesome! :D

So, I went to the Great Ocean Road with Florina. The tour guide told us that the weather on Tuesday was one of the best weathers he has seen in his hundreds of trips to the Great Ocean Road! We were so glad about it I must say! :D Everything was awesome and we had a great time! The scenery was awesome and the food we ate. Idk what else to describe besides saying Great Ocean Road was amazing! But the worst thing that happened was that both Florina and I got motion sickness. Or more like bus-sick. It was dead terrible. I nearly puked on the tram back home. Still, I don't regret going there! :)

Loch Ard Gorge. It is famous for the story of the Two Survivors. Here's a quick synopsis of the story:

The gorge is named after the clipper ship Loch Ard, which ran aground on nearby Muttonbird Island on 1 June 1878 approaching the end of a three-month journey from England to Melbourne. Of the fifty-four passengers and crew, only two survived: Tom Pearce, at 15 years of age, a ship's apprentice, and Eva Carmichael, an Irishwoman immigrating with her family, at 17 years of age. According to memorials at the site, Pearce was washed ashore, and rescued Carmichael from the water after hearing her cries for help. Pearce then proceeded to climb out of the gorge to raise the alarm to local pastoralists who immediately set into plan a rescue attempt. After three months in Australia Carmichael returned to Europe. Four of her family members drowned that night. Pearce was hailed as a hero, and continued his life at sea. He drowned several years later in another shipping accident.

London Bridge.

It was supposed to be connected until 1990, where the middle part collapsed. Two tourists were left stranded on the right bit. And the funny story I heard about it was.. The two tourists were actually having an affair behind their spouses' back. LOL! And to know that their faces were shown on TV (that's how their spouse found out about it) all over the world due to the remarkable erosion of London Bridge. Haha! Karma :P

Fooling around is what we do best! :D

Florina. Although we are from totally different worlds (which is true since she is from China and I am from Malaysia. Lol) with two totally different personalities, I am still glad to have gotten to know you. Although we don't get along sometime, I still want to thank you for being my roommate. Thank you for being there to help me adapt to life without guardians. Thank you for teaching me so many things. Thank you for tolerating my weird habits at home. I know I will miss you when I am back in Malaysia. Nobody yacking away at night and laugh like crap while watching Running Man together. Lol. Be sure to take care eh mate? :)

I've always had a soft spot for my sweet tooth. I can NEVER resist desserts. Now THAT, is why I am fat! :D These two are award winning ice creams! Lol! The one on the left is Jaffa and Lemon Cheesecake from Fritz Gelato @ St. Kilda (next part of the post) and the one on the right is Milo from Apollo Bay, Great Ocean Road. That taste, I felt like I was in heaven! :P Hahaha! My love for desserts never dies!

* * *

14th November 2012

Went to St Kilda beach and the Suzuki Night Market with Amanda Ng and Amanda Sek! :))

The highlight of St Kilda beach? The PENGUINS!!

This was what we found during our penguin hunting. The one on the top right seems to be saying "who do you think you are, bitch? stop taking my photos!" Lol. I was really really glad to have been able to see these cute little things! :) I am sure lucky because my friends said that its usually unlikely to see penguins during the day.

Happily eating our McDonalds. :D 

Please ignore my weirdo face. Oh well, it is not like it is the first time I look like crap. Haha! Amanda Ng on the left and Amanda Sek in the middle :) I am really glad to have met these two girls in Melbourne. Seriously, without them, my life in Melbourne would have been so lifeless. They were always there to listen to my rants and to guide me through it. If I needed advice from friends when I'm in Melbourne, I will definitely go to them, especially Amanda Ng :) She has been such a great friend to me. She's a really nice girl and she accompanies me to almost everywhere that I do not feel like going alone, like house-inspections, and brought me to so many awesome eateries in Melbourne. Thank you for everything :) And Amanda Sek, a super cheerful, outgoing and smart girl. Thanks to her suggestion, I had my first ice-skating experience. Although we don't talk as often as Amanda Ng and I do, but I was glad to have shared a same tutorial and practical class with you. Thank you for being such a great friend throughout first year :) Luckily the three of us are not staying that far apart in Malaysia. We shall hang out in Malaysia ok?! :DD Bon Voyage and Have a Safe Flight Home!

(bet you guys are getting confused on which Amanda is which eh? Hahaha!)

Our sexybacks! xD

Look how fat I have become! Hahaha! Sweet tooth problem. Screw dieting, happiness (from eating) comes first! :D

Suzuki Night Market @ Queen Victoria Market

This night market is only open every Wednesday night during summer and winter. So it will be my first and my last time going to the Suzuki Night Market for this summer. Haha! It was a great experience :) Exactly like a pasar malam in Malaysia but then it is 10x more expensive than any random pasar malam food. Lol. A plate of rice costs $10! 

Amanda Ng, me, Amanda Sek and Kathleen :))

* * *

15th November 2012

Nothing much to update here. Haha! I just visited my first shopping complex in Aussieland - Highpoint Shopping Center in Maribyrnong. Besides getting a little something for my mum and sister, I don't think I bought anything else. Haha! So, let's move on to the next one!

16th November 2012

To me, it was a really amazing day.

I took my bike out for a ride. And I've managed to do everything I wanted to do. I went to Queen Victoria Market to get SOMEBODEH's cell-sized Koala, went to Valleygirl to buy clothes for my sister (I didn't even buy for myself -_-) and visited the National Gallery of Victoria (its an art gallery with paintings from all over the world). I felt like I was a tourist since I went to tourist attractions and was also shopping for souvenirs. Haha! Lastly, I went to Southbank. The place where I took the picture above. I parked my bike, rolled out the mat,  turned on the music, lay on my back and watched the clouds. It may sound stupid to you, but to me, that's what relaxation is all about. To be outside of the house and to be able to stare into the sky without a single worry. If I could, I would have gone there everyday. But then again, Melbourne's weather is just so unpredictable :(

* * *

17th November 2012

Went to my uncle's place in Macleod today. Played with the kids and talked to my aunt and uncle. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as I expect it to be. I don't really know how to say this but it is just.. well, I feel better than how I thought I would have felt. 

I am very very grateful for my housemate today. Sorry for all the trouble you have gone through. I apologize for telling you so last minute and I am really thankful for what you've done. Thank you so much!! :))

* * *

I am going home in another 2 days. Wow. My mind has yet to register that I am only two days away from home. In my mind, it still feels like I have a month or so. I can't believe that 8 months passed by, just like that. I still remember my first day in Melbourne. Somehow, with all this freedom, I find it really hard to say goodbye to Melbourne. I don't feel like leaving Melbourne at all. The only reason I look forward to home is because I have my friends and family back home. I miss them so uber much. That's the only thing that can persuade me to leave Melbourne and go home. I want to see my family..

I just sat here for 2 hours writing this blog post. Haha! I didnt notice that until a few minutes ago. No wonder I'm starting to feel hungry. Lol! It has been a tiring day today. I guess I shall go hit the hay. Gotta meet up with Florina very early tomorrow to go to Cheston! :D Good night, everyone :)

Ticked off.

I've done this (referring to picture above) dont know how many times already today. The feeling's just awesome!!

First year of Pharmacy can now be ticked off my To-Do List (if I don't fail anything that is). Anyway, what's done is done. Summer holidays, I welcome you with open arms! I can't believe it. I've finished first year. Isn't it too soon? 8 months passed just like that? Lol. I need some time to digest this. Haha!

No more stress-filled days, no more coffee overdose, no more sleepless nights! But then again, it feels weird going home and not having to take out my notes and study. Hahaha! Humans, we're always like that, aren't we?

Now I am only 7 days (excluding today) from home. One week. Just one week. I have so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go before I go home. *whoops!* I hope I have enough time though. Hmmmm... Oh crap, I haven't pack my luggage. This is gonna be hard. I don't even know what to bring back, i.e. my clothes! I don't wanna bring them back to Malaysia and then bring them here again. Should I bring a few and make it an excuse to get more clothes? :P SinfulpersonIam.

 I am going to this place tomorrow! Great Ocean Road. This, is what I am expecting to see. Lol. Wonder how it'll really look like tomorrow :P I've been to this place exactly 10 years ago. I still remember the weather was bad, it was so misty we couldn't see a thing. Oh well, the weather forecast for tomorrow is cloudy as well -- crap. I want to see the sunset!! :目

Ok, sleep deprived person is going to sleep now. Before I really turn into a zombie. Nighto peeps! :)

Poop.

The best image to summarize today's exam paper.

Ok, this is my last complain about today's paper. Enough. Life goes on.

Now I have to work extra hard for my last two subjects so I can make up for today's misfortune. Grrr.

Fried.

I shall say that a few more times because I am currently in deep shit.

Random confession of the day:

My second paper is on the 6th of November. Until TODAY, right now, I have NO IDEA what is that subject talking about. I have not started studying that subject at all. I spent too much time on other units I've totally neglected this unit. To be honest, I don't even know how many topics are there in this unit because I've not attended a single class for this unit as of September. *major whoops!*

This is my first time being in a situation like this. Where I am not anxious at all even when I have no idea what is in the exam. I wonder if a miracle can happen in these 4 days. Because today, I am still studying for my 3rd paper instead of the 2nd. I wonder why I am treating my 2nd paper like this. I wonder if I'm out of my mind. I guess that if I want to PASS that unit, I'd have to be extra diligent these few days. If not, I can only say "Zhi Han, you deserve failing this". Wonder how it feels like failing a paper? 

 I should really give it my best shot :/

Here and There.

Was looking around the "Keep Calm" photos and came across this. And to think about it.. I haven't been eating properly since the start of SwotVac. I take 2 meals a day instead of 3. Still, I am taking my fruits and vegs. Haha! Shall treat myself to better food when I go back :D

I remembered saying Hello October only a while ago and now its November already. I'm amazed. 7 months and 2 weeks passed just like that. My days left in Melbourne are numbered. Exactly 20 more days. Can anything be more exciting than this? Haha! I seriously can't wait to go home :)

I wonder how's everyone there. I wonder if my little cousin brother can still recognise me after so many months. I wonder if anything has changed in my aunt's house. I wonder if my parents' TV routine is still the same. I wonder if I can still drive?! I miss driving a serious lot. Because it is when I am behind the wheels that I feel free :)

Sister's having her SPM in 5 days. My next paper is in 6 days. She seems pretty worried about her SPM and I couldnt be of much help since I am not home. I wonder how's she's really coping since she only ever says "Die liao lah" when I ask her about it -____-

Oh well, I should properly start studying for my next paper too eh? Before I become the one who has to say "die liao lah". I am diligently trying to find my interest in Chemistry. I think I lost it on my way here.

Cross-roads.

I've reached this cross-road for the second time in this semester. I've never felt so tensed up and disappointed with myself for quite some time.

Nope, I don't regret not studying earlier.

Nope, I don't wish for more time because I know if I've been given the time I would have just repeated the same thing.

I chose this route. No one pointed a gun at me and commanded me to pick this. I shall be responsible for my choice. I just hope that I am determined enough.

A friend asked me, "are you sure you want to study that much, after 4 years as an undergrad, 1 year as an intern and then, spend the rest of your life standing behind a counter and read prescriptions everyday?" Those words gave me a good slap in the face because my answer is NO. No, I don't want to stand behind a counter for the rest of my life. No, I don't want to read prescriptions everyday. THAT, is definitely not how I'd picture my life.

But, I want to be able to read the ingredients from a box of medicines and actually know what they mean. I want to be able to compare medicines by brand and be able to choose the best one instead of going for the most expensive one (isn't there a mindset saying that most expensive stuff would always be the better choice? It doesn't always turn out that way does it?). I want to be able to care for my family, I can't diagnose internal wounds but I can be of help when it comes to deciding with treatment would be the best for them. I want to be able to help myself when it's my turn to be in trouble. At least, I would be able to understand what is wrong.

To be able to do all that, I must first go through all the shitz. No better word that shitz. I do blame myself for not being supportive of my own choice. But at critical times like this, I shall just suck it up. No point dwelling on matters like this now, I suppose. My first paper is just 33 hours away. Hurrah for me! NOT.

And to add stress to my loaded-with-stress-self, I think I have an extra "senget" tooth growing, can't close my mouth properly, can't eat properly. Should I start stocking up fruits and veges that can be blended? So I can drink my meals instead of having to suffer when chewing. Grrr! What a nice timing. If it's a wisdom tooth, please give me enough wisdom to get through this exam, thankyouberrymuch!

In the mist of being so stress, feel like giving up and the like, I am very grateful for having such awesome friends. Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook and even sms. Thank you guys so much for everything :) I seriously can't wait to go home and meet up with everyone :)

RT @MindblowingFact : People who stay awake till late night are more intelligent than the people who go to bed early, and rise early for the day!

Oh really? My clock is telling me I should sleep now. One of my housemates should be asleep for 2 hours already. Lol. But gets up so early, that when my other housemate decides to go sleep, the other one is up already -_____- I'm the middle one.

I guess I should get my hands on the past year questions and start studying like mad. I have 33 hours. After that paper, I think I'd feel so relaxed as if I've finished the whole semester. The first paper is my worst subject, hence, the stress because I can't get it right. Ah well.. *pulls up hoodie* Let's get started!

Skype.

Decided to share my housemate's internet this month because I don't want to waste my time travelling to and fro Monash. And YESH, I can haz awesome internet quota! Finally, you can see me ONLINE on Skype instead of being Invisible like how I usually am for the past 8 months xD

Skyped with my family more often nowadays since I don't have to check the internet usage every 5 minutes just in case I've exceeded it. Lol.

My 全家福 ♥

Despite it being so blur, I still love it a lot! :) A few of my friends mentioned that I look like my mum. Haha! Oh well, now you know how will I look like when I am 50y/o :)

Second round of skype for the day. My crazy crazy sister. We love hoodies!! :D

It's great talking to them. I miss them so much! I want to go home!! There's so many things I want to do when I am home. Can't wait! :)

3 more days till the start of my exams.

*fingers crossed!*

Getaway.

Semester 2 is over. Not officially over but still, no more lectures, pracs, tests and tutorials.

As of today, SwotVac begins. 

Ok, I still don't know what SwotVac stands for but it is the one week break before the finals for students to study in their most hardcore mode.

My last day of the semester ended with an online practical test. Before all the studying + stress kicks in, I've decided to chill for a bit. Haha! Thank you Amanda for going to all these places with me today! Besides thank you, I don't know what else to say, I really appreciate the company :))

Freddo ice cream for tea time, Nasi Lemak for dinner :D Its my first nasi lemak since I came over to Aussieland. It is definitely something I miss and want to eat-all-I-can when I go home!

Bought the new Apple Earpods to replace my 4-year-old earphones that decided to break down on me a few days ago. Went to Melbourne Uni's Co-op Bookstore, and guess what, everything in the middle picture is FREE. 7 bars of chocolate, 2 huge files, 2 colour ENO pencil leads and a pen. Lol. Files are things that are so NOT worth buying here. Expensive like crazy. Too bad I only have two hands, if not I'd take 5-6 files instead of the chocolates :/

Alrighto, enough of the active bloggingness. I think I should seriously enter hardcore-study mode. To Sharon and CinYi, thanks for all the help throughout this semester. Happy Studying during SwotVac and All The Best for the upcoming finals!

I should really put in more effort this time :/

Counting down 10 more days till my Drug Delivery paper.

Bring it on.

I was so glad to have finished my Drug Delivery test today. To be honest, I thought I did quite well because I've studied pretty hard for it. Was about to reward myself with some chillax time and I realized that I made a huge mistake. Now my test result is at stake D: but what's done is done, I shall hope for the best.

Having my last test of the year tomorrow - an online prac test. Thank goodness its an open book test or else I don't know what would have become of me. Yikes! Also, tomorrow is the last day of the semester. I didnt realize that until a friend mentioned it. I guess I've been skipping classes too often. Haha! Oh well, video recordings are way better than the actual class simply because I can pause and pen down what the lecturer said. They talk like bullet trains in class I can't even pen down anything I always seem so lost -_- Lecture recordings for the win! The person who invented Echo360 is a genius! You have my thanks, mate! :目

Talked to my mum yesterday. I told her I don't feel motivated to study, she told me to get a rest, go for a jog and then sit down and start studying. I asked, "What if I still don't feel like studying?" She said "THEN YOU PACK YOUR BAGS AND COME HOME!" Lol. What she meant was no point spending so much money on me when I am not studying and I said "OK, I won't even go for a jog, I shall START PACKING NOW!" She panicked and say "don't you even dare to come home now!" Hahaha! I have the cutest mum ever! Love her so so much! ♥

11 days until my first paper!

31 days till the day I go home :)

Definitely looking forward to it! There's so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go! I want to make my summer break the best one ever! :D

Lost.

As time passes, things change, people change.

I know the day for me to change out of that would come but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Now, I can finally say - I don't give a shit. And when I think about what I did all those years, sacrificing this and that, I wouldn't say it was worth it, I wouldn't say it's not, I'd say it made me grow :)

That lost interest.

Back then, I couldn't stand being nobody. I couldn't stand being mistreated. I stood up for this, I stood up for that. I've put in so much effort for so many things but obviously I didn't achieve much and was worried about all those stupid achievements. Today, I can say that those stuff don't bother me any more. I can finally say "I don't care".

People put in effort for a reason. I used to have a motive. Well, I still have one now but I must say, the current one is totally different from the one I used to have. This one is more practical. This one can actually guarantee my future (if I work hard enough for my Pharmacy degree that is). 

I have nothing for you. I wasn't good enough. Because I never led a winning team and because we were problematic. You have that written all over your face when I lost everything, all of your expectation. I've given it all. I do not need you to recognize me. I do not need you to give me anything in return. I just want to blend in. You can pretend I've never existed, it matters no more. You can say I'm an idiot and laugh at me, I care no more. Just let me be there, just let me blend in with all the other people and let me stay there until I'm done. Everything else - I don't give a shit.

Just a few years. All I need is just a few pieces of paper :)

I see it.

Dreams, they can only be achieved if you wake up and start chasing them.

My current life evolves around studying, lab sessions, grocery shopping, cooking, housework, evening jogs, watch RunningMan, sleep. And to be honest, I'm sort of used to it. It's kind of the peaceful life where everything is normal and predictable :) Somehow, I like it this way. No stress! :)

I see the end of the semester. This week is the last week of the semester. The horrifying week 12 - tests, tests and more tests. After that would be the two weeks of exams and then.. Summer holidays babeh! xD

I know I've been mentioning this in almost every blog post but I seriously can't wait! Can't wait for everything to be over and to spend 3 months back in Malaysia. The excitement is overwhelming! I WANT TO GO HOME! :D

5 more weeks and I'm home. This is the second time that I am not even bothered about the exam. I just want it to end. I'm wondering if it's a good thing. I just want to do better than last semester. I just want to raise my CGPA. My last semester results sucks and I have no one to blame except myself. Fyi, my GPA for last semester didn't even reach 3.0. I was THAT bad. But no, not this semester. I am much more determined and I've worked harder. I want to improve! No more suckish results or I'll be too ashamed to face my parents!

15 more days till my first paper.

36 more days and I'll be home :)

Not really.

Week 10 - Done and over with.

Hello Week 11! It's the second last week of the semester.

3 important tests in Week 12 and then the war with my books start on the 30th!

But somehow I still find it hard to concentrate on my studies. I can't study most of the time. That feeling's such a pain! I am easily distracted by noise and by my phone. Switching off my phone is not a problem, the noise is. Sometimes people talk so loud that I can't even hear my lecture recording properly. Sometimes I wish to glare at them or ask them to respect the other people who are studying in the "QUIET STUDY AREA" but then again, I don't own the place. *sigh* 

We had 10 (or more) subjects in SPM and it wasn't as stressful. Now I only have 4 and it already feels like a living hell to get all those information into my brain. Major crisis of the year!

And after 1.5 semesters in Pharmacy, my interest in Chemistry declined about.... 80%? Physics, I am so sorry I hated you last time. I won't do it again. Miraculously, I can do well in every little topic that is related to Physics and Physiology ain't that hard either. But Chemistry? It just won't do, nothing goes in let alone producing something during the exam. 

I saw a picture on Facebook saying "Be blessed for being stressed". I agree with that statement in a way that having something to stress about is way better than a monotonous/dull life. I hope I can pass the final exam. I don't want to repeat any unit next year!

Let it be.

Spring is here, the weather's gradually regaining its warmth (although there're still sucky days when it is freezing cold and rains 24/7).

Went to the Royal Botanical Gardens a few days ago with le housemate :) I really love that place. It's like Bukit Cahaya just that there's no monkeys, more hills, 100x cleaner and 100x prettier (ok, maybe Bukit Cahaya ain't such a good example). After I've finished my finals, I am so gonna go back there and chill for one whole day. Just laying on the grass is good enough! Maybe sip coffee and read a book. :P

* * * * *

September came and went just like that. It was pretty eventful I suppose :) The adrenaline rush when I'm checking the results for my assignments (not to mention disappointment), the boredom/frustration/determination(?) of devoting trying to study as much as I can, the stress from the coming finals, and lastly, which is also the best part, is the non-stop talk-a-thon with le kawan-kawan while indulging in finger-licking good restaurants around Melbourne.

September has been a great month :)

Please be nice, very nice! :)

Let me pass my Onlince Calculation Test in one shot! (The passing mark is 80%, so I am so doomed.)

Let me get through semester 2 with a smile.

Be good on the 30th so I can get through my first paper without having to worry about the weather/chills etc.

October, please come and go, just like September. Bring me a month closer to home. :)

50 days more!